An Amazing Journey!!

Snuggle Time

2010-12-17T11:20:00.002-05:00

Irene, Mike and the trio fly in tomorrow! Can't wait to see everyone and to see how big the twins have gotten in the past two months. I also can't wait to snuggle!!

The twins birth story!

2010-10-21T12:10:00.012-04:00

The five precious miracles that I have given life to!

Wow, what a crazy ending to a already bumpy journey this time around. Everything that could go wrong seemed to.

Wednesday Oct 6th, I hadn't felt well all day. I felt off. My head felt dizzy, so I told Felix that after dinner I wanted to go on in and just be checked. We arrived at the hospital about 8pm. I had no idea what it could be, I briefly mentioned something about my blood pressure. My sugars had been good all day. I had laid around on the couch all day (my usual), so I knew I hadn't overdone anything. I had been eating semi decently and drinking my water.

We get to the hospital which I should mention I hadn't been seen by the Naval Hospital since I was 31 weeks pregnant. I was 35 weeks at this point.

They had me give urine, started hooking me up to the monitors for each baby, contractions, blood pressure and took some blood. My blood pressure was well up there. The nurse tells me the doctor on call from the Naval Hospital (who just happened to be my favorite) said to call him with the results of the blood and urine. Well, 15 minutes pass and the nurse comes back in and says the Dr is at the Naval Hospital (looking at my records I assume) and he would be there asap. I knew at this point something more was going on... it went from waiting for results to he was on his way right then. I had had very high blood pressures every time the machine would take it... the nurse did a cervical check and found I was three centimeters dilated, which surprised us all.

The Dr arrived, came in and started asking me about how I felt all day. After telling him about my day, he said he was worried about preeclampsia and the babies lung maturity. He had the nurses start an IV with magnesium sulfate (the drug from hell) to keep me from having a seizure, and to stop any small contractions I was now having from time to time as well as a lovely catheter. He went and called one of his colleagues and the hospital in Savannah to get another opinion. He decided to have me transported by ambulance to the hospital in Savannah that was better equipped to handle the babies and I.

The ride to Savannah (about 50 minutes) was an uncomfortable one. It's about midnight at this point. I began having contractions that were coming from 3-4 minutes and that were getting more uncomfortable. After arriving at the hospital, I was asked questions for admission, a bunch of them. It's now a little after 1 am. Felix hadn't arrived with me yet, as he had to go by the house and try to figure out the kids situation. Thank goodness for our exchange student who was able to watch them until someone else could get to us.

The contractions felt like they were coming on top of each other and so painful. I was asking for some relief (which after having three natural pain med free deliveries was new for me), but why lay in this bed and hurt to dilate when I was having a c-section with these breech babies anyway. Felix had arrived at this point. Nurses and doctors were in and out of the room. Still not sure if we were delivering or not, I didn't know to tell Irene and Mike to leave NJ or not. The doctors here came in and said they would monitor me for a hour or so to see if I was progressing and at the point we would deliver... if not, we would have an amnio in the morning to check lung maturity. They gave me a med for the pain (maybe 2:30am), which helped for just over a hour, which I started feeling them again. I was given an Ambien (around 4am), and was able to catch some rest. By morning, I had a whole slew of people coming in and out... taking blood all early morning, checking the babies by ultrasound... I was now told the amnios were off (at 10:35 am), and we were delivering in 25 minutes. Oh my word!!! I immediately called Irene, and they set off for GA.

My blood pressure was still high. My liver enzymes were elevated. I had protein in my urine. I had low platelet count. My hemoglobin had dropped drastically. I had developed HELLP syndrome which is a life-threatening obstetric complication usually considered to be a variant of pre-eclampsia. Among other things... which I didn't find any of this out until discharge. I never knew the seriousness of how sick I had become. My life was in jeopardy. I am so thankful to have been in good hands.

At 11am, I was being wheeled in to OR for an emergency c-section. It all happened so fast, it is kind of a blur to me and I don't think the ambien had time to wear off. I remember vaguely being moved from my bed to the OR table. Being cleaned off for the spinal... I remember the deep jab of the needle numbing me... I remember closing my eyes for a second, and opening them to find, I was all in position with the famous blue sheet/cloth drapped up in front of me. I remember a nurse wiping a cold alcohol swab on my neck and arm which was cold, and then on my belly and I couldn't feel it. I remember Felix finally coming in and being by my side just before little Shawn Nolan arrived into the world at 11:42am at 4 pounds 9 ounces followed by his sister, Gwendolyn Rosemarie at 11:43am at 5 pounds 10 ounces. I remember hearing the word meconium as little Gwendolyn arrived. And a fear came over me.

Gwendolyn was wheeled away as she was having trouble breathing and grunting. Shawn I believe if I remember correctly was brought over for me to see him. I remember Felix being asked to leave with the babies as they finished up with me. I asked for him to stay with me, but was told he couldn't... next I remember is being in recovery and baby Shawn being brought in for me to nurse him. He wasn't dressed... which later became the problem of why he was sent to the NICU because his body temperature had dropped. Gwendolyn was on oxygen for about 12 hours and stayed in the NICU for observation. I am assuming b/c of the meconium, but no one ever told us. Shawn was in the NICU for his temperature, which he was able to maintain on his own very well... I know its from them bringing him to me with just a diaper on to nurse.

I had to stay on the magnesium sulfate for 24 hours after delivery... awful awful awful. Because of the risk of seizuring with my high blood pressure. I was able to get a nurse to wheel me down to nurse Shawn for his 11pm feed instead of another bottle of formula.

Irene and Mike arrived about 1 am, and Irene was there for Shawn's 2 am feed.

I had started having some slight edema about a week before delivery, after delivering I swelled up much much worse. Every part of me from the waist down was swollen and so fat. It definitely felt strange to walk around on Michelin man feet. I continued to drink lots of water and use the potty A LOT (which the nurse said was the only way to help it), and a few days after coming home, my legs are chicken legs again. It was very uncomfortable the first few days in the hospital from the surgery. Hard to get in and out of bed. Hard to sit down on their low toilet and get up. Hurt to laugh, cough, sneeze, which I tried to do none of. My appetite was definitely back in full force! I was just eating and eating! I guess making up for all the time I spent nauseous this pregnancy (which was right up to delivery :( )

I remember everyone complaining of how cold my room was, but it sure felt hot to me, thanks magnesium sulfate. I had such wonderful sweet nurses every day of the stay at the hospital... until the day of discharge. I was discharged at pain med time with no pain meds. :( I asked the nurse to take my blood pressure cause I felt it was high, which she did, and sure enough it was up there, but they still let me go home. I have had my share of tears this go around. Coming out of the hospital with both babies in tow headed for their carseats, I was a ball of tears. The ride home which Mike tried very hard to make smooth, was painful. They really need to re-pave the roads between SC and GA for those of us who are unlucky and have to have c-sections. :)

Irene and Mike stayed with us until the babies were eight days old this time. The plan was for much longer, but I didn't want to be away from Felix and he was headed to FL to visit his sick Mother for the weekend. So, as hard as it was to say goodbye this time, I had to let these two precious babies head home with their big sister and parents.

A group shot just minutes before Irene and Mike + 3 headed home.

I feel almost normal again. Healing slowly, have one spot not healing properly on my incision causing me yet more trouble :( C-sections are definitely different than vaginally, which I would prefer vaginally any day. Blood pressure is trying to work itself out. Feeling really good with the weight I have lost already, and the size clothes I am fitting in. It feels great not to be tied down to the couch or my bed everyday. Slowly getting around more and more. Being able to do things for myself has been nice and not having to rely on everyone else. Which not being able to lift anything over five pounds and not being able to drive stinks, but soon enough it will be over as well!

I am so happy that I was given the opportunity to help start a family almost four years ago, and now have completed this family with two more precious angels. I hope the F family realizes how happy I am for them, of my sacrifices, and how thankful I am to have been able to help!

34 weeks 5 days

2010-10-06T10:42:00.001-04:00

Taken Monday October 4, 2010.

31.5 weeks

2010-09-15T09:46:00.002-04:00

Taken Friday 10 Sept 2010.

26 weeks 4 days

2010-08-09T09:17:00.001-04:00

08/08/2010

I am becoming massive...

2010-07-18T12:46:00.002-04:00

Taken Tuesday July 13th at 22 weeks 6 days.

Felix says I am already bigger than this pic, LOL... thanks honey!

Almost ready for introductions.....

2010-06-21T09:52:00.002-04:00

Why didn't anyone ever tell me that naming children was such a tough task??? Wait, actually, lots of people told me this, but I just haven't listened. See, with Celeste, it was super easy: I chose the name when I was 13, and then just waited patiently for her to be born (some 16 years later, but who's counting?). Sure, Mike resisted my "chosen" name, but in the end, he was a perfect gentleman about it. This time around, it's a whole other ball game!

Being Jewish, we need to name our children in honor of family members that have passed. Once again, with Celeste, it worked out as Mike's grandfather's name was "Samuel", and "Celeste" and "Samuel" start with the same sound (I know, I'm reaching a bit, but go with me on this). This time around, we need to utilize my grandmother's letter, "G", and Mike's grandmother's letter, "S", for the first names. Moreover, even the middle names are being utilized to the fullest, to honor my mom's grandmother and my dad's aunt & close family friend. No easy task, huh?

For now, I can tell you that our baby boy's names are finalized (thanks to Alicia, actually, who came up with the perfect middle name this past Friday, as Mike & I simply could not find one we liked!!!). The baby girl's name is still being discussed, I think I'm winning, so I'll let you know once we agree. For now, all I can say is that our son's initials will be "SNF", and younger daughter's will hopefully be "GRF".

The ultrasound says...

2010-06-20T11:16:00.004-04:00

I will let Irene introduce her duo, but just wanted to let you followers know they are expecting one baby boy and one baby girl! Mike is thrilled he will have some boy power in the house!

And a 19 week belly shot... taken Wednesday, Jun 16th. A bit blurry taken by Gabriel from my cell phone.

A stranger here...

2010-06-14T16:42:00.002-04:00

Hi everyone.

Just a quick update. It's been busy around here. I am surely getting my share of sickness and migraines this go around. I am gonna go with the doc and blame it on all the hormones, I mean there are a lot of them circulating in there. Not to mention how awfully sore my breasts are, OUCH!!!

My belly has definitely expanded at a very rapid rate this time which is to be expected with both lil S and lil G in there. I will get a recent belly pic uploaded this week for you all to see.

Yesterday I had a visit to the ER for a migraine that I had had since the day before. I was out of meds and the only way to get any relief was to head for the ER. I asked for an IV for fluids and the meds. I didn't think the fluids could be anything but helpful. After being there just under four hours, I came home, and laid down. The boys went off to the pool with Daddy. Once my headache was completely gone, I had a craving for some peas, cornbread, mac and cheese and ham, so off I went to Walmart... came home and whipped it up. It was so yummy! I won't mention I ate it today for breakfast and lunch. Mmmm! The headache returned later yesterday evening, so I took another dose of my meds, and crashed. The best sleep I've had in weeks. Yet today, I have been so sleepy. I have wanted to lay around and sleep all day. I have that yucky taste in my mouth constantly and feeling a little ill. I am scared of the Zofran, but definitely thinking about sparing me the misery and taking one.

After talking to our exchange student over messenger for 1.5 hours (she will arrive in August) about cooking and food, I now am hungry for all sorts of things! Think I am going to send Felix to the store for the freshest pasta he can find, with some parmesan cheese and olive oil. Maybe some italian sausage in there. I love when I have cravings, it sure makes deciding what to eat when you are feeling ill so much easier!!

Thursday is our big Level 2 ultrasound in Savannah where hopefully they will confirm for Irene that she has one boy and one girl growing in here.

Will post the update from that appt and a pic later this week.

We've been slacking!

2010-04-21T13:54:00.004-04:00

Hello.... anyone still there? Sorry, we've been slacking. At least Alicia has a very valid excuse: the twins have been REALLY tough on her, making her feel miserable round the clock. I've been trying to discipline my children, asking them to behave, but surprise, surprise, they're not listening to mom already!

As far as the dynamic duo is concerned, they're both doing well, measuring right on schedule. Our Estimated Due Date is November 10, 2010, just 3 days after Celeste's 3rd birthday (hope she won't expect babies as a present for every subsequent birthday....), however, most sites say that twins are expected to arrive around the 37-week mark, which means around October 20th. I'm personally rooting for October 22nd, as that was my grandmother's birthday.

Our other exciting piece of news is that we're going to be spending Mother's day all together, as Mike, Celeste and I are going to visit Alicia and her family! Really looking forward to seeing everyone, it's been entirely too long.

I'll end the post with a recent photo of "Princess Celeste" -- her Highness acquiesced to being photographed in a studio this past Sunday.

Two of them...

2010-03-19T20:22:00.001-04:00

Ultrasound shows two babies. Strong heartbeats and growing right on target.

The F twins are not being very nice to me! :(

I got home from the ultrasound and from picking the boys up from school and came home to find these waiting on me.

Third Beta

2010-03-11T20:52:00.000-05:00

We had our third and final beta today...

17dp5dt and it is 17,869.

Oh, I sure hope we just have early implanters....

2010-03-05T18:05:00.003-05:00

After a looong wait, all day... and lots of phone calls and lots of messages... and lots of going around and around... we finally have our second beta number...

11dp5dt -

1605!!!

Is it one, two, maybe three or four?

2010-03-03T16:42:00.005-05:00

Well, we are definitely pregnant!!

Beta is in for 9 days past a 5 day transfer (14dpo) and our number is 570!

I go back on Friday for our second beta.

Celeste's beta's were 132 at 7dp5dt and 900 at 11dp5dt.

Big sister in the making!

2010-02-26T21:33:00.002-05:00

Hello everyone! I've been meaning to update the blog as to how the egg retrieval and transfer went, but it seems kinda silly to do that now -- as you may have guessed, everything went well! We made some good embryos, and two of them were selected for immediate action!

I can't tell you how thrilled we are with the results! When I heard from Alicia that she tested positive yesterday, I simply couldn't believe it. 3 days past a 5 day transfer is not a time you expect to receive a positive test. With the lines getting darker, and the digital test spelling out "Pregnant" in big letters, we are more excited than words can ever express!

Hopefully, this year, our princess will receive an unforgettable birthday present, one she can enjoy for the rest of her life!

The words say it all...

2010-02-26T19:16:00.001-05:00

4dp5dt @ 6:50pm

Do you see what I see?

2010-02-26T11:33:00.012-05:00

Wanted to share some sticks with all you who are joining us on this journey... for those that don't know, 3dp5dt means 3 days past 5 day transfer. Be sure to leave us a comment and tell us what you see!

For those who are confused, I will try to help explain...

The day of "ovulation" would have been the day of the egg retrieval... 5 days after "ovulation" (egg retrieval) they placed two back in my uterus, so today is day 4 since they put the embryos back in.

So, from normal pregnancy terms... it is like 9 days past ovulation today. I hope I didn't lose any more of you. :)

Any of the pictures can be clicked out to enlarge to get a better view!

3dp5dt

4dp5dt

Same test inverted 4dp5dt

Til next time.

2010-02-24T12:30:00.002-05:00

Irene, Mike and Celeste headed home this morning. Now, my Mom is left to "put up" with me today! Tomorrow I will get up and resume life!

I have been feeling some nice crampiness and twinges! Sure hope it is a baby or babies getting very comfortable!

Transfer was successful!!!!

2010-02-23T10:45:00.003-05:00

Yesterday (2-22) one perfect grade 4AA and one almost 5AA blastocysts were placed in my nice fluffy uterus! I am enjoying relaxing in my bed for the next three days. I have my Mom, Irene and Mike here taking very good care of me!!

Hopefully we are on our way to making Celeste become a big sister!

Plan to test for the first time on this Friday!!

First beta is 3/3!

Owie.

2010-02-05T09:07:00.004-05:00

Can you believe in just 10 days Irene, Mike and Miss C will be here? Wow!! I am so excited to get the main part of this journey underway!! I was coming right along with giving myself the injections, but the last 1.5 weeks I have been having a hard time again. Every shot just seems to hurt now, and I am really hesitating giving them to myself. I am glad Felix has been home to do them lately, but that will soon come to an end, so I need to muster up the courage to do them again myself. The nurse said after doing the shots for awhile, your body just has had enough and they start to hurt more... well that is what has happened. :( But it is all for a good cause right?!?

I can't wait to see everyone and see how big Miss C has gotten. As well as hear her speak both Russian and English to me!! I hope she doesn't take long to warm up to all of us.

Felix won't be around much during the visit and he is pretty bummed about it. But as a Drill Instructor duty calls and he just happens to get a new platoon of recruits just two days before they will arrive. Bummer!

As for lunch, hmmm, thats a good question.... love me some Hibatchi and Greek, what else is there?

Check, Check, Check!!!

2010-02-03T09:41:00.002-05:00

Here is a quick status as to where we are:

* FDA testing & physicals -- CHECK!

* Fertility meds to start tomorrow -- CHECK! (unless I hear otherwise today)

* Vacation time reserved at work --CHECK!

* Airline tickets purchased -- CHECK!

That's right, all systems seem to be a "GO"! We're flying out on Monday, February 15 (President's day), bright and early. Hoping to meet up with Alicia and all her men in time for lunch! The big question is, what should we have for lunch???

Monumental Break Through!

2010-01-12T13:51:00.000-05:00

Wow...

OMGOSH!!!!

I actually did it! I DID IT!! I DID IT!!!

I gave myself my injection today! The first time ever!!!!

I can't believe I did it!!!

The first three days my husband or a friend gave it to me, and besides the very first one, they haven't hurt a bit. I have wanted to be able to do them myself. Heck, the needle is sooo little. So today, I didn't want to bug my friend to come down and give me todays... and I wanted to accomplish something!!!

I prepared the needle, and sat down, pinched up some leg, and said I can do this... it doesn't hurt.... within a minute, I couldn't believe myself I had the needle in and was pushing the meds in. I was soooo shaking.

Tomorrow will be better, I think. ;)

New Doc is a nice one!

2010-01-05T18:03:00.006-05:00

Today I had my first visit with the new Fertility Doc and Clinic that we will be using this time. First, I sat down in his office and he talked to me for a good amount of time. He was very friendly. I liked him very much! Then I was taken into an examination room to make sure my uterus is looking good and ready to go! Everything checked out beautifully!! He really cared about me while doing all the different tests. Kept asking if I was okay, telling me everything he was doing, how everything was looking! I think Irene and Mike will be pleased upon meeting him in person!

They drew blood to check me for all sorts of things. The nurse doing it did an awesome job!! The cycle coodinator asked the nurse to weigh me because she had to input all my old data from the beginning of Celeste's cycle in the computer to be able to set me up as a new patient. I ended up weighing the exact same thing so that was pretty neat! On my way out, lastly they pricked my finger to check my hemoglobin, and that was normal!

My meds were ordered today so they should be arriving any day now. I start meds on Saturday. These will be Lupron injections, the little tiny needle shots. I received confirmation of such great news today. I will NOT have to do any HUGE shots in the backside this time!! All pills! I am soooooooo relieved and ecstatic!

We look to be on our way. We are all very excited!

An incredible 2 years!

2009-12-07T12:59:00.000-05:00

Well, it has most certainly been an incredible 2 years, during which we've watched Celeste undergo the transformation from an adorable little baby, to a beautiful, intelligent, joyful and opinionated little girl! The amount of pleasure she brings to our lives seems to multiply with each passing day, which is perhaps why we celebrate her birthday with 4 parties each year!

We're all really looking forward to the Sibling Project. Hope we will be as lucky in this endeavor as we were with Celeste. Please keep your fingers crossed for us, and think happy thoughts!

I can't believe she is two...

2009-12-06T21:34:00.001-05:00

A few pictures of Miss C at her 2nd birthday party... (one of her parties anyway)

We meet again :)

2009-01-04T09:00:00.000-05:00

In Sept 2008, my DH graduated from DI School for the Marine Corps... Irene, Mike, and Celeste joined us here in SC for the celebration of his success. We enjoyed dining together, the park, and all the time we spent together. We can't wait to see them again.

Celeste getting ready to fly

Celeste & Mommy checking out Leila (our chihuahua)

Celeste and I posing for a pic

Celeste, Kameron, my oldest, and I

Daddy and Celeste

(she mastered walking alone shortly after they left)

The new Marine DI, Celeste, and I

Some new pics of Celeste...

2008-11-13T20:16:00.000-05:00

Here she is checking out her Gloworm I sent her for her birthday...

Getting her first birthday "cake" - as her parents say the healthiest birthday cake ever! Apple and Raspberries!

Looking at her pretty flowers sent from loved ones in Russia.

Hanging out with a rose at one of her two parties this past weekend (and still another one to come)

The proud parents and their little girl

Mommy showing C her real cake, well one of them ;) I wonder if Mommy let her taste it?
Checking everything out - the star of the party!
Relaxed and clean after her bash!

Bundled for the chilly New Jersey weather!

Happy Birthday Celeste!

2008-11-07T13:36:00.000-05:00

ONE YEAR OLD!!!!!

No way!!

Where has the last year gone?

Maybe Mommy will update everyone with some birthday pics and some of the new things lil C is doing these days!!

Almost 10 months?!

2008-09-04T20:45:00.000-04:00

Believe it or not, our little princess is almost 10 months old!!! At her last doctor's visit, two weeks ago, Celeste was 28 inches tall, and weighted 18 lbs, 7 oz! I can definitely feel that it's tougher to set the table, toss clothes into the washer, and prepare a bottle for Celeste, while holding her with one arm. My mother-in-law actually commented that my arms are getting considerably toned lately!

Celeste is also quite a social butterfly: she loves going to all kinds of parties, and play with other kids. The nightly trip to our development playground is also a ton of fun for the whole family. Celeste enjoys the baby slide, and of course, the swing. However, one of her biggest joys is to sit on the ground, and play with the wood chips that cover the playground. My challenge: keep the wood chips out of her mouth!

Celeste still hasn't gotten her first tooth, but she's waiting diligently. She pulls everything into her mouth, and rubs her gums on anything she finds. Her favorite chew-things: lychees, watermelon and plates! She also loves cheese!!! I wasn't going to offer her cheese at 6 months, but when she basically screamed for it, I had no choice. Over the past 4 months Celeste became quite a cheese connoisseur.

In less than 3 weeks we will finally see Alicia, Felix, Kameron and Gabriel!!! We're all really looking forward to the trip -- it's been entirely too long since we were all together. Oh, and don't worry Alicia, you'll never be a stranger to Celeste!!!

29 days....

2008-08-25T13:05:00.000-04:00

In just 29 days, we all will be reunited. It will be great to see everyone again. I can't believe how big Miss C is getting. I can't wait to see her as well as Irene & Mike in person. Hopefully she will let me hold her, I'm a stranger after all, but I hear she likes people, so I'm holding out hope!!

How about an update over there? Our viewers are interested in knowing what lil Miss C is up to these days?

:)

What a sweet surprise!!

2008-05-08T13:24:00.000-04:00

I had just walked in the door from the gym, had started a load of laundry, and I heard the doorbell ring. I went to the doorbell and saw no one there. I thought that was strange, but figured someone had stuck a flyer to the door. Well, a few minutes later on my way upstairs, I decided I would open up the door and see if anything was there. I opened the door to a ProFlowers box... I thought who could this be from? My name and address were on the box... I thought hmmm, well they're at the right place. Felix would have just bought some locally, I don't think he would have ordered them.

So, I open the box and see these beautiful roses, a vase, and a box of chocolates. I am searching the inside of the box trying to find out who these were from. I turned and tipped the box (of course once the flowers were out) and finally found a card from the only little girl I have. My little Surrodaughter (with the help of her wonderful parents) sent me a dozen roses and a box of chocolates. It brought tears to my eyes!!! The special gift I have given a family will be with me forever, and I feel so blessed! I am so thankful that they took the time to think of me on this special day!

Where does the time go???

2008-03-05T22:18:00.000-05:00

Has it really been almost 4 months since Celeste Alicia's birth? Is that at all possible? I think time is playing tricks on me lately. It seems like only yesterday we all put on yellow shirts, and went in for the transfer (but that was one year and 4 days ago!). So much has changed since that day!

Whoever said that being a mom is a full time job, wasn't kidding. It used to be that Mike and I would come home from work, have dinner, tell each other about how the day went at work, watch a movie or hang out with some friends, check our email, and go to sleep. Not anymore: Mike takes an early train home, goes to the daycare, picks up Celeste, and the two of them pick me up from the train (Celeste is usually napping in the car seat at this time). As soon as we get home, Celeste is up, and we play with her as we grab a bite to eat, then Mike does some "tummy time" with the little princess in the baby gym while I wash bottles, and after that, the three of us do our favorite activity of the day: Bath Time! While I dress Celeste for bed, Mike heats up the bottle I prepared earlier, and as soon as Celeste is dressed and is ready for feeding, the bottle appears in my hands! We eat, burp, change diaper, finish eating, burp, and go to sleep. I tell ya, we have it down to a science now, thanks to the book I refer to as my Bible, called "The New Contented Little Baby Book" by Gina Ford, which helped me set up a schedule for our family that really works. So yeah, there's never a dull moment in our household, at each point in the day, we have something going on.

Being a mom is a feeling unlike any other. The little angel really puts everything in perspective. I can now talk for hours to my girlfriends about Celeste's bodily functions, eating & sleeping habits, and developmental milestones. My favorite reading material is the daily report we receive from daycare, which details what times and how long she slept, how much and at what times she ate, and diaper usage, along with associated time of each event. Life is all about Celeste, but that's just fine with me. After all, there's nothing nearly as precious in the world as her.

Tummy Time with daddy :)

Where's the Mommy of the Princess?? :)

2008-03-03T13:16:00.000-05:00

I was wondering if the New Mommy wouldn't mind posting a new post about the little princess to hear how she is doing and what is new with her! Also, about how it is being a Mom!

I know we are coming up on FOUR months old already!!!

Love, Alicia

I just thought I would post some new pics of the little princess... Celeste Alicia!

2008-02-11T21:12:00.000-05:00

Isn't she a doll?

Celeste with her Mommy.

Celeste with her Grandma :)

Our Birth Story - View from the other side

2007-12-21T23:57:00.000-05:00

As I'm attempting to encourage the now 6+ week-old Celeste to go to sleep, the story I'm about to write seems to have happened a lifetime ago, but in reality, less than two months have passed.

On Monday, November 5, at 5:30PM (EST), as I was walking to the train station from work, I received a call from Alicia. She sounded really nervous, and told me that despite Dr. G's predictions that Celeste will not come for a little while longer, she's just not sure how long she can hold off! The contractions were strong, and Alicia didn't know what to make of them. I asked her to please go back to the doc, and have him check her. In the mean time, I hurried home, and told Mike that we need to change our travel plans. Mike must have been shocked at the prospect of becoming a father earlier than anticipated, and asked me what I feel, is the silliest question of all: "How likely is Alicia to give birth before Thursday"? (we were due to fly in on Thursday night). I requested that he call Alicia right away, and ask that very same question, as I was dying to hear her response!

Without wasting time, we drove on over to the airport, found a supervisor at the Continental Airlines desk, and explained the whole story to him, begging him to change our tickets, which he did, and the following morning, at 8:40AM, we took off for San Diego! My only thoughts were: "hang on Celeste!!!". When we landed, Alicia was still very much pregnant (whew!).

I will not duplicate Alicia's description of our numerous walks at Balboa Park, or running through the hospital grounds, in order to evict Celeste, I will just post a few photos.

Driving up to the hospital for the last time!

As we were getting admitted into the hospital, we were all talking about how cool it would be to have Celeste be born today. Besides the obvious excitement of finally seeing our little princess's face, there was the added neatness of the date, especially when written in military form: 07Nov07! The admitting doctor was less optimistic than we were though, that the baby would come on that day.

Skipping down to the labor... Even though I was not the one experiencing the contractions, I could tell that they were excruciatingly painful. Alicia was shaking all over, not finding a comfortable place, attempting to bounce, fidget, shifting weight from one leg to another. At her request, I was rubbing her lower back hard, until my palms felt like they were on fire! Still, all through the checks, Alica was not dilated 10 centimeters. With each check I was devastated, as I was really hoping to get this over with as soon as possible, and alleviate all the pain Alicia was experiencing. Finally, at about 11:30PM, Alicia felt the need to push! All I remember, is our nurse running out to get the doctor, and saying "don't push!!!". Next thing I know, a doctor came into our room (all the instruments were already set up), and as he was fumbling to put a delivery robe on (which needed to be tied in the back, but wasn't, as there was simply no time!) he got into position to catch Celeste. Before I knew it, I saw the head come out, and a few seconds later, the body was out as well! Throughout the delivery I was holding Alicia's right hand, and after Celeste was out, I could still feel Alicia shake -- the nurses explained to me that this was normal, and was caused by the extreme adrenaline and other hormones, but it still alarmed me. Alicia kept on shaking for a while.

The next 3 weeks were wonderful. We stayed with Alicia and her family, in their home, and everybody helped out with Celeste, even the boys, who hugged and kissed her from head to toe, every chance they got! Alicia's mom seemed to have been awake and eager to help at every hour of the night, and even encouraged us to go out, while she babysat for us. I am eternally grateful for the amount of help, advice and support we received from everyone!

It was really difficult for us to leave San Diego, but finally November 30th came around, and we got on the plane, to return to New Jersey. Less than one year passed since the day we first laid eyes on a photo of Alicia, Felix and the boys, but how our lives have changed! The "surrogacy journey" was completed, but as any meaningful experience in life, it opened a number of new doors: We made amazing friends for life; we shared an unforgettable Thanksgiving holiday with the F's; and of course, we became parents!

My version of our Birth Story!

2007-12-17T18:42:00.000-05:00

It all started on Monday, Nov 5th when Dr. G stripped my membranes. I started having strong contractions all day, and my Mom and I thought it was the real thing for sure. I called Irene to let her know that I was having some pretty painful contractions that felt like they were getting closer together as well as more painful. They weren't due to fly in until later on in the week on Thursday night, and I didn't want them to arrive too late. Irene wanted me to go back up to the doctor and see if he would be willing to check me and see if anything had changed, so off we went.

I explained to Dr. G that I had been contracting almost since my appointment that morning, and it felt like it could be the real thing, and they were getting more painful. He checked me and said I was pretty much the same thing as that morning, not much change, and I only had a 5% chance of delivering her that week. Also, explained to me that when he stripped my membranes earlier that morning that it would cause painful "false" contractions. I was thinking well, why didn't he tell me that sooner?

So, I called Irene and let her know, and they decided to go ahead and change their flight to Tuesday morning. Tuesday morning they were on one of the first flights out. They arrived close to noon. I then told Celeste she was free to arrive at any time she felt ready because her parents had made it. I was so worried they were going to miss her arrival. While waiting for their plane to come in, my Mom and I took a little morning walk, and went and had a pedicure and manicure. I kept a joke going that Celeste wouldn't come if my feet weren't pretty for the doctor, LOL.

We picked Mike and Irene up at the airport around noon. Celeste and I were starving, so we all went for lunch at Olive Garden. For once I knew what we wanted, and could actually make up my mind. At Olive Garden, I ordered unlimited soup and salad. I couldn't believe how much I ate. I just ate and ate and ate. I sure was feeling it when I got up to leave. We decided to go do some walking and try to get things moving. After all, I had ate enough spicy soup. I became really tired and just wanted to come home and go to bed.

I ended up going to bed pretty early around 7:30/8 pm I think. I woke up about 2 am with some mild period like cramps. I heard my Mom was up and moving around so I got up and told her what I was feeling. We decided to go walking around the neighborhood at 2:30 in the morning to see if we could get things to progress further. We walked until the sun came up. We came back in and my Mom woke up Irene with "we are going to have a baby." Irene jumped up off the couch from a deep sleep all in a panic wondering what was going on. I couldn't believe everyone in the house had slept through my Mom and my giggles, banging pots around in the kitchen (we were cooking apple crisp), using the garbage disposal, and coming in and out the back door. We even sat upstairs using the computer cracking jokes and laughing our butts off and no one ever woke up.

So after Mom had woke up Irene, we let her know what was going on. Everyone began getting up, showered and dressed. I was having some more contractions, and we decided to leave and go to Balboa Park to continue walking. I didn't want to labor in the hospital, so I thought Balboa Park being right next door to the hospital would be a perfect place to walk in case labor started happening quickly like my last delivery (total 4 1/2 hours, only 16 minutes at the hospital). Definitely didn't want to get caught up in rush hour and me be in labor. So after walking awhile and feeling a few nice contractions, we decided just to go over the hospital and have them check me to see how things were. We waited in the waiting room for a bit just to get called back and find out we were still a 2. :( How sad after feeling quite a bit of something going on.

Well, after that saddening news, we decided just to go back to the house. After using the bathroom, and finding yet more mucous plug, more excitement overcame us, as we thought the moment was getting closer. I rocked on the birthing ball a little bit, and breathed through my contractions. They started feeling very strong and coming pretty close together. Mike and Irene thought it would be best just to go back to the hospital and have them check me again. We got back to the hospital and I had a time walking into the hospital and up to the third floor with the way the contractions were coming. We get there, they remembered us from earlier, and just said I needed a recheck. Within a few minutes, they took us back to check me and was told there was only a slight change, I was now maybe a 3. :( I couldn't believe it. With all the pain I was feeling, how could something not be happening? I guess things were happening, just not fast enough for my liking.

Instead of leaving the hospital this time, and going back home, we decided to hang out around the hospital since it is such a huge place and just walk around there. We walked around outside but it was a little nippy to me, so we decided to go inside the hallways and walk. We walked around and around. We rested at the McDonalds in the hospital (I know, strange) ate some beef jerky and some chocolate peanuts. I had some contractions, but not ones I couldn't handle. We walked some more, and came back sat down again. The final time we left McDonalds, Irene and I started power walking, pretty much a slow run up and down the sloped hallways. I couldn't believe I was walking through the contractions I was having. At one point, I couldn't take them much more, and we went back up to L&D. We were getting close to the entrance doors, and I got a pretty painful contraction that put me in tears. So, when I went through the doors, they didn't waste any time getting me in a room and checked me again. I was going to lose it if they told me any more bad news. She said you are now a 4 1/2, pushing a 5, we can go ahead and admit you. It is now 4:35 pm on Wednesday the 7th.

They got me into a room, had me change into a gown, hooked me up to the monitors. Celeste sounded great. Contractions were coming, I had a couple hours of steady contractions, then around 6:30/7 pm, contractions just stopped. They talked to us about breaking my water or giving me pitocin to help things get moving again. They said they had a time limit of how long things should take and I couldn't just keep sitting there doing nothing, or we could end up needing a c-section. So around 10 pm, they finally got in and broke my water. Around 10:30pm, contractions were coming strong, and much more painful than any of the ones I had felt all day. Irene was rubbing my back, and when I would have a contraction, I would tell her harder harder harder (boy was I wishing I hadn't yelled harder, after the delivery and up until the end of the first week). I had Mike's hand to hold and squeeze through my contractions. During one contraction I squeezed his hand so hard, I think he thought I was going to break his hand off. I kind of had forgot I had his hand to squeeze while in the midst of all the pain and finally started using it :)

Around 10:30 they checked me and I was only a 8. I was begging to be a 10 so I could push and get all the pain over with. Again, I couldn't believe I still wasn't at a 10 and ready. My body seemed to be dilating so slowly to me, and just wasn't cooperating the whole day. Sometime in this time frame, I began to feel sick, and knew I was going to throw up. I was standing next to the bed leaning over at this point. I yelled for a bed pan, and before I knew it I was throwing up in my bed. I threw up two or three times, and then felt a little better with the feeling sick to my stomach part, but the contractions were still kicking my butt.

They started asking me if I needed to push, so I thought about it for a minute and realized when I was having a contraction, I was not only trying to hold my breath, I felt like I was holding her in with the way I was doing my body. So I started going with my urge to push when I would have a contraction. The nurse mentioned that I was getting close, and should go ahead and get back in bed. I didn't really want to get back in bed because I felt like I had a hard time getting through the contractions while laying down. Standing up allowed me to wiggle, squirm, sway, stomp my feet, whatever. They started breaking down the bed, getting my feet in the stirrups (which I couldn't lift up for anything, and was yelling at the nurse, "I can't, DAMNIT!"), the doctor came in and was getting suited up, nurses were everywhere. All I knew was I needed to push, and I wasn't stopping for anything. My Mom kept telling me if you need to push, push! My nurse was telling me to wait for everyone to be ready, but I had hurt long enough. I was getting Miss Celeste out and into her parents arms. I heard Irene say she could see her head, and knew I didn't have much to go, so I pushed with my next contraction, and her head was out. The doctor said to stop pushing and he removed the cord from around her neck. I resumed pushing with one little push, and out she came into the world at 11:36pm. I tore a little, and needed one stitch.

Within the next few hours, they moved us into a regular post partum room. Mike, Irene, Celeste and I all roomed in together. I nursed Celeste for the first three days to insure she received the best thing possible for her - colostrum! We came home from the hospital on Friday the 9th. I started pumping breastmilk on Saturday evening, the 10th. Mike and Irene took home a huge cooler full of the milk I had pumped. They stayed with us til the morning of Nov 30th when we took them to the airport to head home and show Celeste off to family and friends. A lot of people ask about this, but I had no problems with attachment with Celeste. I never got the maternal bond instinct with her. I guess I prepared myself from the beginning knowing she wasn't mine. Even the boys had no problems, they knew all along that baby Celeste was Mike and Irene's baby. Seeing how happy she has made her parents was something I set out on this journey for.

Celeste Alicia has arrived...

2007-11-10T16:17:00.000-05:00

Celeste Alicia entered the world on 07 NOV 07 at 11:36 pm. weighing 7 pounds 5 ounces - 19 inches long.

Here are a few pictures for now... more birth details to follow.

Together at last!

Celeste Alicia after her first bath.

Me meeting Celeste for the first time

Last Belly Shot

Celeste in the hospital

My Boys & Celeste!

Irene & I waiting to be checked in.

Laboring

38 wks 2 days appt

2007-11-06T21:20:00.000-05:00

I gained 5 pounds back. I am measuring 38 weeks now. Baby's heartbeat sounded good. He asked if I felt like she has dropped, and said that she is down more. I am feeling a bit crampy since he checked me. He said I am 2 cm dilated and about 50% effaced and it could be any time now. He stripped my membranes as well.

After my appt yesterday, I contracted all day with some pretty intense contractions. I thought I was in real labor. I went back up to my doctor and he checked me and I was still the same as the morning. I couldn't believe it. Then he let me know when you have your membranes stripped, it causes FALSE intense contractions. Ahh, thanks.

I am to walk in to see him next Wednesday, the 14th (if we make it that far).

Almost 37 week appt

2007-10-25T18:57:00.000-04:00

My doctor was totally booked up this week and won't be in next week, so I had to see someone different today.

Grrrr, he was an @$$.

First, I was weighed, lost three pounds since Friday. The blood pressure machine tried 4 times to get a reading on both of my arms on two different machines, finally she manually did it, and said my blood pressure was low. Then my temp was low, 96.5.

They take me to a room, he comes in and asks me how I am... I say so so. That I had contracted all night long. He said well that was reason to not feel great. He measured my belly still measuring the same as Friday 35 1/2 weeks. Pushed and prodded, he was not gentle in the slightest, said baby is head down, back on the right, with legs on the left. Then he listened to her heartbeat. I could tell right away it was faster than usual. He listened to it for quite some time, I never had a doctor listen for so long. So then he asks was she active in the last few minutes, I said No, she actually has been quite still today. So he listens for another minute or two and says well I think she was active in the last few minutes and that is why her heartrate is fast. Did you not just hear ME?!!?

So he sits me up and says do you have any questions? Well, what about my blood pressure?!? Well, just eat and drink he says. Then I mentioned being checked today, and he says well there is no reason to check you right now. I said well he checked me last week, I'm a surrogate, and we are trying to just have a heads up to what is going on so the parents can make it, they don't live here. Well, I see no reason to check you, until around 38/39 weeks unless something is going on (I guess me telling him I contracted all night long when he first walked in the room wasn't reason to check me). Okay my doctor is probably the oldest OB at the hospital, has the most experience and has been there the longest, and he checked me last week at 35 wks 6 dys but now this idiot refuses to check me.

So, I left there pretty ticked. A waste of my time. Low blood pressure, baby with a fast heartbeat, low temp, lost three pounds.... hmmm?!?

And since my doctor is out all next week, and no other doctor has anything available, I don't go back til Monday November 5th, but thank goodness it will be with my regular doctor.

What a great appt, not. :(

My bags are packed, I'm ready to go!

2007-10-21T23:22:00.000-04:00

After speaking with Alicia on Friday night, it really hit me: Celeste may be born any day now! Am I ready for her arrival? Now, please don't misunderstand me, I'm not talking about emotional readiness, what I'm talking about here, is being actually ready to fly cross country, dress her, wrap her in a blanket, etc. The answer was NO!!! My bags weren't packed and I still didn't finish doing all the baby laundry. So, that is what I did on Friday night -- I washed every piece of baby clothing that I hadn't washed thus far, and I packed my bags. At the end, I had 2 large bags, a stroller and a car seat with a base. For the first time ever, I started questioning if we haven't exceeded the maximum airline allowance for baggage (We normally travel ultra-light, and don't check bags unless we're going skiing).

On Saturday night, I once again heard how excited my mom and mother-in-law are, and how willing they are to help! They both offered to fly to California with us, but instead we're going to save their help for when we come back home, as I'll have plenty of experienced helping hands in CA.

The last step was to figure out what the flight schedules are like, in case we need to change our airline tickets at the last moment. Depending on the day of the week, there are 3-4 direct flights each day, from Newark to San Diego. As of right now, our tickets are for the night of November 8, but that's all subject to change.

So now we wait! :)

36 week appt update and pic!

2007-10-20T12:35:00.000-04:00

I went in on Friday the 18th for my one day shy of 36 week appt. Before I went to my doctors appt, I met with the OB social worker about the arrangements for the birth. I let her know that Irene and I want to room together with Celeste at the hospital. We talked about who I want in the delivery room (Felix, Irene and Mike). She mentioned I need to have an idea of who I would want in the room in case of a c-section, that only one person would be allowed in. I told her Irene would be the one to go in with me. After meeting with her, I went and checked in for my appt.

It wasn't long and they called me back. I asked the nurse if her scale was working today, LOL. I told them at my last appt (joking of course) that I think their scale was broke at my last appt since it said I gained 6 pounds. They just laughed. So they weighed me, and I only gained TWO pounds. I was very happy with that. My blood pressure was good, temp was good. They took me straight back and put me in a room.

The doctor came in and asked if I had been having contractions. I replied Oh, yeah. I told him it has been feeling like I am going to start my period, pain through my back and legs. He said well, I am going to check your cervix today so we will see if anything is going on. I didn't even have to ask or beg for him to check me, which we all wanted. He listened to Celeste's heartbeat, sounded great. He measured my belly and told me I was measuring about 35 1/2 - 36 weeks. He said he didn't think Celeste would be super big at this point, but I am all belly. That when he feels my belly it is rock hard, all her, not loaded with fluid.

He checked me and said my cervix has began to do what it is supposed to. That it is softening, effacing, and he can get a finger in there, but he wouldn't say I am quite 1 cm. He said he didn't think her arrival was imminent, but not later either. He said He doesn't think I will make it to my due date. He said we are at a point now, we can stop saying We can't have a baby yet, but Okay we can have a baby at anytime now. That we are at that transition period. He did the Strep B test, never had it with the boys, so we will see.

I go back this Thursday , Oct 25th. My doctor had no appts available, so I am having to see someone new :( The following week, they had NO appts at all, so I go again, unless something happens sooner, on Mon, Nov 5th to see our regular doctor. All day Friday, I contracted all afternoon and evening. Yesterday, I had absolute nothing, so we will see how today goes.

Also, here is a pic from yesterday when Felix painted my belly.

Belly Shots

2007-10-19T11:59:00.000-04:00

Here are two belly shots taken this morning at 35 weeks 6 days by Kameron.

Take your guess!

2007-10-17T17:04:00.000-04:00

Get those baby guesses in!!!

The countdown is def. on...

2007-10-12T12:25:00.000-04:00

Wow, here we are one day shy of 35 weeks, can you believe it?

I am really having a rough time this go around, which I am baffled as to why. I'm not overweight, I wasn't when I started, I am in pretty good shape, but just the little walk to Kameron's school morning and afternoon is kicking my butt. I feel like I have ran a marathon or something. It takes me forever to catch my breath and get my breathing back under control. I have been quite sleepy lately as well. I am back to needing my middle day naps like I was at the beginning of the pregnancy. Next Friday is our next appointment, and I am curious to know how much I have gained this time. I am hoping for just a pound or two.

I am starting to be able to see the finish line, but it is still not quite in my grasp. I have been having quite a bit of contractions. Sometimes they are quite painful, and I try to tell Celeste it's not time, and she needs to settle down in there, and other times it is just the motions of contractions with no pain, which are the ones I prefer the most.

Irene and Mike will be here in just under a month, so the countdown to their arrival should help time go by. I can't wait for them to get here cause it will only mean I am one step closer in making the dreams of having a baby, a reality for two great people. I think Irene will do a great job, and I am here to help her get a good step on the right foot with her lil princess. I can't wait to see these two interact with their little girl and see the excitment in their eyes.

My Mom will also be here a month from tomorrow. She will have the duty of keeping the boys while we all run off to the hospital. I am also requesting her taco salad to help kick me into labor paired with pineapple (it was the meal I ate the night I went into labor with Gabriel).

I will try to remember to have Felix or Kameron take new belly shots tomorrow, and will get them posted soon. I also plan to have Felix paint my belly (I didn't do it with the boys) maybe this weekend if we aren't too busy. I thought it would be fun to do.

34 1/2 Weeks!

2007-10-10T21:36:00.000-04:00

Well, we're almost there! I still can't believe that our little Celeste is almost ready to be born! I've read up on some baby topics -- everything from potty training, to the types of toys to buy a child to encourage development, to tips on traveling with an infant. Overall, I think I'm pretty ready for the arrival.

However, I must admit that a part of me is really anxious. Just thinking about the little creature that will totally depend on me for everything is enough to throw me into a panic. She won't be able to tell me what she wants, so how will I know? Yes, I do realize that there's a handful of things she may possibly need, but what if she wants to be burped, and I do everything else before I get to the burping? She will have to suffer as I go through the motions of changing her, giving her a pacifier, trying to feed her, when all she wants is to be burped some more?! Last weekend I was talking to my friend Anna who has a 2 month-old, and she said that sometimes you just can't figure out what's wrong -- it could be that his left foot is itching, and he's unable to scratch it. I think what I'll do is create a checklist of everything that a baby can possibly want, and put "itch extremities" at the bottom, so that when all else fails, I'll gently itch her arms, legs and back.

Aside from gathering advice on what to do with babies, we've been gathering baby stuff from our friends. We now have a swing, 2 car seats, 2 strollers, a bassinet, a bouncy seat, a baby bath tub, some clothes, and a LOT of diapers and bottles! For now, everything is just sitting in the baby room, but I think this weekend I will start to decorate -- I'm really excited about that!

And so, I find myself on the verge of motherhood. But as frightening as it may be, I think I'm in good shape, as I have the best support structure in the world: I'll have Mike, Alicia and Alicia's mom by my side from day one; my mom and mother-in-law once I get back home; and of course, many friends (most of whom just became mothers in the past year). Yup, I think I have a decent chance of making a good mom! (or so I keep telling myself!).

Come and join in on the fun!!

2007-10-01T23:58:00.000-04:00

Come on over to our baby game and take your best guess!!

I hope you all will join in on the fun!

Appt Update & New pics

2007-09-27T16:12:00.000-04:00

On Friday, Sept 21st, I had another OB appt. I was 31 weeks 6 days. I got there early around 2:45, they weighed me, took my blood pressure and temperature. Then, they put me out in the waiting room until a room "opened" up. My appt time was at 3. At 3:25, I was still sitting in an empty waiting room with no one in any hurry to take me to a room. I kept looking at my phone, looking at work staff that would walk by just waiting to hear my name. Finally a nurse asked me had I been helped, and I told her I was supposed to be waiting for a room to open up, I heard her go down the hall and ask about me. Probably another 10 minutes passed before I was finally called back and left in a room to wait some more. The doctor was taking forever. I waited in the room another 15-20 minutes before he arrived. Of course, the day I brought nothing to read.

He came in and discussed my weight gain for the past four weeks, which was quite a shock for me, 6 pounds. I had asked the nurse when she weighed me jokingly "Is your scale broke?" I am now weighing more than I have ever in my life. With my boys, I maxed out at the same weight with both of them. I am now 5 pounds over that max. The doctor said Celeste will begin to put on a lot weight now, and he would like to see me gain between 5-8 more pounds.

He listened to her heartbeat, which he finds right away each time. That sounded fine, and he asked me was it a boy or a girl again, he had forgot. He measured my belly, and asked me how much my children had weighed? He isn't very detailed when telling me things. So I don't have what I am measuring but he says I am measuring just fine. And I asked if he thought Celeste was too big or too small, and he said she isn't too big and isn't too small. It kinda threw me off when he asked about my boys weights at birth, is there something he isn't telling me? He pushed and felt on my stomach, and I asked her position. She was head down with her booty up above my belly button. Hopefully she will stay in this position.

We walked across the hall to his office, and he said he would see me back in four weeks. I had a few questions I had wrote down and asked him those. I have been craving ice like crazy for the past few weeks. He looked at my past bloodwork and said my iron levels were great, and that it was fine for me to keep consuming my ice. I let him know I needed more prenatal vitamins and some tylenol. I also mentioned that I hadn't had a migraine in a few weeks, (knock on wood), and he said my body could have just outgrown them. Wahoo!!

So that is my appt update for my one day shy of 32 week appt. I go back one day shy of 36 weeks on Oct 19th.

The last few days this week, I have been experiencing quite a bit of contractions. My body is gearing up and definitely getting ready for the big arrival of Miss Celeste. I have been getting more worn out walking and out of breath while talking. Felix gets a kick out of the talking thing. It's getting hard to sit, I prefer laying around... She feels like she is in my throat and between my legs all at the same time, and laying takes that pressure off.

51 days to go! I can't believe it!

Here are a few pictures Kameron took of me a few minutes ago.... Taken Sept 27th at 32 weeks 5 days.

Pic

2007-09-13T15:37:00.000-04:00

Irene and I on September 4th before she left for the airport. We are 29 weeks 3 days along here.

Belly Shot - 28 weeks

2007-08-30T13:06:00.001-04:00

Here is the belly shot I promised. Taken Saturday 8.25.07 at 28 weeks.

27 week 6 day appt

2007-08-25T01:18:00.001-04:00

Today I had my one day shy of 28 week appt with the new doctor, Dr. Gaylord. Things went well, he seems really laid back. He listened to Celeste's heartbeat which he said was around 142 beats a minute and my belly measured right at 28 weeks. That is good to know since I measured two weeks ahead at my last appt. I also only gained 1 1/2 pounds in five weeks. I am very happy about that being I had seemed to be gaining weight pretty rapidly at my last few appts. Also, he let me know that I passed that nasty glucose test :), which was a big relief to hear as I didn't want to have to drink that stuff again.

We sat and talked in his office about my migraines, nausea, heartburn, gas, and just being plain uncomfortable.

I go back in 4 weeks on the 21st of Sept when we will be 32 weeks!

I will be sure to take new belly shots for you all tomorrow!! Stay tuned!

A wonderful time, yet again!

2007-07-30T08:37:00.000-04:00

During the past week, Mike had a conference in Anaheim, CA, and I took the week off, and went with him. Since Anaheim is located just under 90 miles from San Diego, I got to visit Alicia & the boys while Mike was busy "conferencing", and Felix was busy working. After the conference was over, all 6 of us got to spend time together! As usual, we had a great time, the only problem is that it wasn't long enough. It has been a month since the Ferrins visited us, and I couldn't believe how much the boys had grown! I bet Kameron will be one of the tallest kids in his class, when he starts school in September.

Alicia is looking beautiful! She has that gorgeous pregnant woman glow about her, and during the days we spent together she was feeling good. We even got to feel Celeste move around inside, and a few times it felt like Celeste was playing soccer in there! Poor Alicia got to be the goalie, whether she wanted to play or not.

At this point in her development, Celeste is hearing sounds around her, and we decided that Mike & I should make a voice recording for Alicia to play to Celeste, so that she can hear the sounds of our voices more often. This should help her bond with us once she is born. All I have to do now is write a little speech! I have a few ideas in my head, so all that's left is to put them down on paper, and then into an audio file.

Our next visit will be over Labor Day, just as Kameron starts school! I remember the day my parents took me to school for the first time, and I'm really happy that I get to share in Kameron's experience, as it's a truly special day not only for him, but for all of us!

Belly Pics

2007-07-26T22:55:00.000-04:00

Thought I would share a belly pic from July 26th, 2007 at 23 weeks 5 days.

And another belly shot from July 28th, 2007 at 24 weeks.

22 weeks 6 day appt

2007-07-24T14:31:00.000-04:00

I had an OB appt last Friday, July 20th. I gained yet another three pounds. My blood pressure was good. I didn't wait long and the doctor came in. But she really caught me off guard, she didn't really ask me about how I was feeling, how the migraines or sickness was... She went straight into telling me she wasn't going to see me anymore. That she was going to transfer me to a physician at the Naval Medical Center instead. Her excuse was she has never dealt with a surrogacy situation, and they will know more. She made it seem like she didn't want to be bothered with Irene's questions - which dumbfounded me. The pregnancy has been uneventful besides the nausea, vomiting, and migraines. I just didn't understand why I couldn't stay under the care of her - a nurse practicioner, but I guess it is better this way. Not having to deal with someone that doesn't really want to deal with me/us, and also better care with a physician.

I go back in five weeks this time, August 24th to a new doctor, Dr. Gaylord (what a name, but I hear Mike likes the name). She said she has been seeing me more regularly than normal and that they have a nine appt plan. No one told her to have me come in when she did, she was the one making the appts.

Celeste's heartbeat was in the 140's and sounded great. My uterus measured 25 weeks :O

Irene will be here tomorrow to visit for a few days. I plan to let her feel Celeste in full gear. She is a mover! I hope Irene will enjoy feeling her little girl bounce around.

My 20 week 6 day appt

2007-07-10T20:08:00.000-04:00

I had an appointment on Friday, 6 July, with my OB. The baby's heartbeat sounded great. I gained four pounds in the past month. The doctor said that she thinks my constant migraines could be causing the nausea and vomiting I am still having. She said If I am to get another migraine that isn't relieved with my prescription medicine to go to labor and delivery and they can give me an IV and meds that should be able to knock out the migraine. Also, she said to keep up eating and drinking to help with the migraines, which I try to do. She said the ultrasound results looked great. She gave me something for the heartburn I am getting from any and everything.

She wants to see me back in 2 weeks on July 20th.

My belly has popped out of nowhere, so I thought I would share a pic. Taken on 9 Jul 07 at 21 weeks 2 days.

Ultrasound

2007-06-28T13:08:00.001-04:00

On Tuesday 6/26, I had another ultrasound. The big one, that makes sure everything is developing properly. After two hours of laying there with my back aching, they had received all the measurements they needed and concluded that Celeste was developing perfectly. She was still in the same position as she was for the elective fun ultrasound we had four weeks ago. I guess she really likes that position or she is "stuck". She is head down, legs up. The way she is positioned made it very hard for the tech to get the measurements of all the areas that they have to look at and measure. The tech also checked for me at the end, and Celeste still is a girl, with no growths within the last four weeks. Her measurements gave us a due date of our original date, 17 Nov 2007. She was weighing approx. 11 ounces. Her heartrate was at 153.

Here are the four pictures the tech gave me - I think it is strange he didn't give me a profile or face shot.

She has been moving so much the last week. I can feel her very clearly now. Felix has got to feel her from the outside now as well. Kameron can't seem to catch her at the right time. She always seems to stop kicking when he puts his hand there, and starts up again as soon as his hand moves. Nausea hasn't been my friend this week. I have had my moments of feeling horribly. I have had several migraines this week, that just seem to not want to fully go away. I am going to ask the doctor at my next appt what is causing them to be so often and painful. I hope she can come up with a solution, they are just miserable. I believe Celeste should be covered in plenty of hair as I am experiencing daily heartburn - fun fun!

My belly has grown just a bit, but in a much different way than with the boys. I know why I am having to go potty every 10 minutes with her head way down there. I will update again after next weeks appt.

A fun filled week!

2007-06-21T09:28:00.000-04:00

For the past week, our house was full of people and noises! There were sounds of little feet running around, jumping on (and off) the beds, couches, etc; laughter coming from people of all ages; proclamations of "I want one!"; and even an occasional outburst of "You're mean!", addressed to the adult refusing extra helpings of chocolate to an already energetic kid! To sum it up in one word, the past week was a BLAST!

I don't know how we managed it all, but in one week we drove around New Jersey (and experienced authentic traffic firsthand); took two full day trips to New York City; walked around historic Philadelphia; had a BBQ with our family (during which, at one point I looked out from the kitchen and saw that both our moms had Alicia pinned down on a couch, and 4 very excited hands were trying to feel Celeste Alicia kick!); visited Felix's brother, nephew, and uncles; and met with a few of my close girlfriends! On top of all that, Alicia, Felix & the boys took a trip to Sesame Place. As you can see, there was no downtime at all -- even when our air conditioner decided to quit working in the middle of almost 90-degree heat, nobody slowed down!

But like all good things, the visit had to come to an end. After dropping them off at the airport yesterday afternoon, I got back to an empty and quiet house. There were no more little feet running around, no laughter, and no sounds associated with wanting chocolate. However, I will not leave off on a somber note. Our next visit to San Diego is one month away!!!

On our way....

2007-06-13T14:48:00.000-04:00

We are all packed and ready for our flight today. We are headed to grab a bite to eat before heading to the airport, grabbing some subs for the airplane ride (since they don't know how to feed people with the price you pay for a ticket).

We are so excited to see Irene and Mike, meet their families and friends, and (for me) to see NYC for the first time. Felix will get to visit his old neighborhood until he moved at the age of 12 and visit a brother he hasn't seen in about 5 years. Gabriel is very ready for Sesame Place, all I have heard about for the past two weeks is that he is ready to go see Elmo.

We will update as soon as we have a free moment and I plan to take lots of pics this trip. Irene and I haven't taken too many together lately.

Until then.... :)

Another lovely visit...

2007-05-31T13:29:00.000-04:00

Once again the visit with Mike & Irene was wonderful!!! Irene seemed to never stop picking up after the boys, or cleaning up in the kitchen, I always feel so guilty when she stays in there so much. Mike grilled, grilled, and grilled some more. I think we grilled every evening except for one. We went out to lunch at a very rustic Italian restaurant on one of our days, and felt like we were in Italy. Everyone wasn't completely pleased with their dish choosing, but we all had a great time. The bread was surely delicious!!

We stayed up late pretty much every night playing our nights away at Spades! The girls are the champions at like 25 game wins to one! LOL The boys had so many excuses as to why they couldn't win, first the sunblock we put on them while sitting outside playing, and next the chairs they were sitting in. Foolish! They just couldn't get it together to beat us until the very last game (I think we let them have it so they would quit their whining ;)!!

On the way to the 4d ultrasound, I asked Irene & Mike what they had picked for a middle name for Celeste (if she happened to be a girl), and they said they had no idea what they would give her for a middle name. Well, after the scan and on our drive back to the house, Irene says "We have had a middle name picked out all along, but we wanted to make sure it was a girl before we said anything". I'm driving, and having no clue what name she is about to tell me, she says "We are naming her Celeste Alicia". I think I was in shock because I kinda just sat there surprised. For these two to name their daughter after me is so special and unexpected. I think honoring me by giving their daughter my name is amazing and so sweet! Wow! They always seem to amaze me.

We can't wait for our upcoming trip to NJ/NY to visit Irene and Mike, and their families in their territory. We leave in less than two weeks, and we'll be visiting for a week. The boys and I are so excited!! I know we are going to have loads of fun. Irene has already warned us to bring very comfortable shoes ;)

Leaving for the airport...

Until next time....

The results are in -- it's a GIRL!!!

2007-05-30T15:22:00.000-04:00

Yup, that's right, just like we all thought, our little bean is a beautiful GIRL!!!

This morning was a busy one for us! First we went to our first OB appointment, which went very well. The OB was really nice and understanding of our situation. As soon as she heard that Mike & I live on the East Coast, she asked the nurse to bring in the ultrasound machine, and sneak a peek at the baby. We had a quick look, but couldn't determine the baby's gender. Right after the appointment, we called a private ultrasound center, and scheduled an appointment right away! Within the hour, we were looking at the baby yet again, and this time, the tech was using a really impressive 4D state of the art ultrasound machine. Clear as day, he saw the labia, and NO Empire State Building! :)

I know it's too early to make formal introductions, but Celeste Alicia is measuring 7 inches in length at this point! I'm attaching the pictures below!

A boy or a girl - that is the question!

2007-05-24T22:53:00.000-04:00

Well, ladies and gentlemen, although I think it's mostly just ladies, we still do not know the gender of the lil bit inside Alicia, but we certainly have been reading up on various old wives tales, as far as gender prediction goes. After a careful analysis, we have arrived at two definite conclusions:

(1) the old wives are nuts! and
(2) the baby is either a boy or a girl

Yup, that's right, we really have no clue. Now is the time to cast your ballot! If you have an opinion, a premonition, or just want to speculate, please feel free to do so by leaving a comment! :)

A requested update :)

2007-05-22T22:38:00.001-04:00

Hello everyone. Sorry there hasn't been any new posts in a few weeks, but since I am being asked for a new one I thought I would update you all.

I have been out of Dr. S's care for almost four weeks now. I have been off all injections five weeks tomorrow, it feels great to be able to sit on my bottom and not have knots protruding from back there.

I have an appt to be seen by my OB on May 30th. Irene and Mike will be here this Saturday for five days to visit with us. Irene will get to go to my first OB appt with me. I haven't gotten rid of the nausea completely, but it has gotten much better. I have my days where I can't do anything, and feel awful all day, then days where I feel great.

My belly has grown just a hair, not too much, I do have a slight bump. Some days it seems as if my belly has vanished. I think I am starting to feel lil bit more often now, but there's days where I don't feel anything. In the night if I wake up on my back, I can feel my uterus and lil bit protruding out of my belly, it is really weird to feel it. It feels hard. I plan to let Irene feel :)

Well, that is the update for now. I will update more after our first OB appt and I am sure Irene will update after their visit.

Heartbeat, Maternity Clothes and a Unisom!

2007-05-03T22:04:00.000-04:00

I have been pulling out the Bebe Sounds Heart Monitor for the last week or so, and today I hit the jackpot! I heard lil bit's heart just a beating in there. Also, felt he/she kick the monitor quite a few times. I have been feeling the baby kick me here and there, hopefully by the time Irene and Mike come back to visit they will be able to feel their lil bit too.

I have pulled out the maternity clothes. I am officially out of my regular clothes. I went out shopping and found some really cute stuff Monday night. I can't wait to start wearing them, if I leave the house LOL

I have had moments of nausea since stopping the injections but not near as bad as it once was. A friend gave me the secret cure for nausea -a half of a Unisom, and that has done wonders. It has helped a whole lot!! I can't wait for it to all be gone!

A wonderful weekend!

2007-04-29T22:54:00.000-04:00

On Thursday, April 26, very very early in the morning, Mike and I boarded a plane, and a nap, a transfer in Texas, and a bacon & egg breakfast later, we were hugging Alicia, Kameron and Gabriel in San Diego Airport! From there, we went directly to their house, and met Felix, who came home to watch the kids while the three of us went to the ultrasound.

When we walked into Dr. S's office, the nurses were very surprised to see us. They all smiled, and congratulated us with how well things are going. Dr. S also seemed very surprised to see us. He quickly came into the room, and did the ultrasound, checking on the baby's heartbeat, and showing us the development of the baby's legs, arms, and the spine. He printed us each an ultrasound picture, and answered a few questions that we had. When Dr. S was done with the ultrasound, the picture frozen on the screen was far better than the original one he printed, and I asked him to print that picture as well. He joked about how pushy New Yorkers are, and printed the extra picture for me. As soon as Dr. S and Mike left the room, Alicia and I started frantically looking for the "Print" button on the ultrasound, in order to print another copy of this good picture, for Alicia. After Alicia was dressed, we spoke with Dr. S in his office. He told us that we will have just one more appointment with him, on May 8, to do an ultrasound, and then Alicia would go into the care of her regular OB.

The rest of the weekend was just purely fun -- we hung out with Alicia & family at their house, bbq'd, and went to Kameron's soccer practice and game. It was so much fun to watch the kids play soccer! One little girl scored a goal against her own team, and even though everyone told her that she should have gone the other way, she was so happy and excited to have scored, that it really didn't matter which goal post she headed for!

On Saturday night, we all stayed up late, even the kids, played cards and chatted. It was so nice to just relax and talk. It was, however, really tough to leave on Sunday morning. Now we're back home, but not for long -- in less than 4 weeks we're coming back to San Diego for a super long weekend!

New pics of the lil bit

2007-04-27T23:51:00.000-04:00

Update coming soon.... but pictures for now!!

Good-BYE!!!

2007-04-16T19:48:00.000-04:00

YES!!!!

I got the phone call this morning, and they have FINALLY said the magic words, we are weaning you off the progesterone injections. I am to take four more shots, 1/2 dose tonight and tomorrow night, and 1/4 dose Wednesday and Thursday night and then we are done with the really really painful shots! I pray this helps with this horrible nausea. I am to continue taking my other injection for a few more weeks, and have a feeling he will wean me off of that one at my next appointment.

YEAH!!!! Now everyone please pray for the nausea to go bye bye with the injections. :)

Baby is doing great!!!

2007-04-13T15:40:00.000-04:00

After two very long weeks, we finally had our appointment this morning. I have had severe nausea for the past few weeks. I haven't felt like myself. My house is a wreck, I am so behind on laundry. I haven't been cooking meals because I am so sick I can't stand up long enough, and the smells are just yuck! Nothing seems to help, constant eating isn't helping, preggo pops that Irene took the time to order for me, nothing! Felix has been doing so much to help me around here. He has taken on the role of "Super Dad/Husband." He has been fixing me breakfast in the wee hours of the morning before he leaves for work along with so many other things.

Ok, about the appointment... I got into the room and undressed from waist down, and got up on the table, called Irene and waited about 15-20 minutes for Dr. S to come in. He came in and asked me how I was?, and I replied I had nausea (I really don't think the office understands the severity of it). He said hello to Irene, and began with the ultrasound. The baby came into view with a beautiful heartbeat in the 150-160's. The lil fighter was kicking and moving all around. You could see its little feet. The blood clot is gone (I did have some black/brown spotting on this past Sunday & Monday), so that is great to know. He said everything looks wonderful!!

Irene asked about the injections since they are causing me to be so sick, we are ready to get me off of them ASAP. He said he would do bloodwork and if everything looked okay, he would begin to wean me off of them starting Monday. He said he wouldn't want to do it over the weekend, when he wouldn't be around just in case I started spotting or anything. I ran out of progesterone this past week, so for two nights I didn't get my full dose of my injectables, only my pill form of progesterone, and I did fine. I was telling two of the ladies go tell him that I did fine this weekend on just the pills, they were just a laughing at me.

We scheduled my next and probably last appt with Dr. S for April 26th at 12:00 pm. After that, I think I will be released to my regular OB for the rest of the pregnancy. I so hope that bloodwork is as good as it has been and he says the magic words about getting off of the shots, my poor knotted behind will thank him too!

Just an update...

2007-03-28T18:13:00.000-04:00

I went for another ultrasound this afternoon. Everything is looking fine with the baby. She/He shows growth, and has a nice heartbeat. The second sac is still a blood clot, and Dr. S said it could hang around for the first trimester, or the whole pregnancy. When I asked him Could it cause problems with the baby?, he told me he is hoping it doesn't. This clot thing is new to me. I need to go learn some more about it.

I haven't had any more bleeding, BUT I have had all day nausea. I am constantly eating trying to keep myself from feeling sick. I am eating hard candy, eating peppermints, drinking a lot of water, nibbling crackers, but it is so hard to eat when I feeling so sick. I have been having lots of cravings for foods I normally wouldn't eat. Standing in the kitchen and cooking has been a hard thing for me lately. The smell of stuff just makes me ill. Onions and garlic - yuck! Hopefully this will soon pass, and I will feel good again. As long as the little one is thriving, I will continue to be happy!

I go back in two weeks - April 11th. Dr. S said if everything looks good then, he will begin to bring me off the injections, yeah!!

Again, Not Again....

2007-03-24T12:20:00.000-04:00

Friday afternoon, I woke up from a 2 hour nap and was laying in bed with Felix and the boys. I told Felix I felt cramping, and he said "No baby, you don't." I said "I do, I feel cramping." We laid there for another 10-20 minutes. I decided to get up and go to the potty, and right when I got up I felt a gush of I knew once again, blood. I went to the bathroom and the toilet was covered again with blood. I again was worried, called Felix in, called the doctor, my Mom, and Irene. The doctor said he couldn't tell me what it was, he wasn't sure why my body was doing this, that all my blood levels looked great and that he would see me first thing this morning.

Through out the evening, I had no more episodes of bleeding, and no more cramping. So I thought well maybe it was the other sac that was filled with blood. Please just let this little one be okay.

I got up this morning, and got dressed. While I was on my way, I called Irene, we spoke the whole way. She had me on speakerphone with Mike. The office was a ghost town when I went in, no one was around. Finally our nurse from transfer day came out, and I told her Dr. S wanted to do an ultrasound. She asked me "did I have bleeding", and I told her "yes." I got ready for the ultrasound, and Dr. S came in. Mike and Irene stayed on the phone, I placed them on speakerphone so they could hear Dr. S. He found the the sac filled with blood which looked a whole lot bigger than on Wednesday, and came across the sac with our lil fighter. I saw a heartbeat about the time the doctor says "WE HAVE A HEARTBEAT." I was filled with joy, Irene says "did I hear heartbeat?"

So, our little fighter is still holding strong with a heartbeat now! Dr. S said to expect more bleeding and cramping. He said he will monitor me closely, and they also took blood once again to check my levels. He said to take it easy this weekend.

I will go back on Wednesday, March 28th for another ultrasound.

Please continue to keep Mike and Irene's lil fighter in your thoughts and prayers!!!

Why, Why, Why?

2007-03-21T14:32:00.000-04:00

Last night, Tuesday March 20th around 8 pm, I felt something hit my panties, I knew right then and there what it was. I said OMG, No! and ran for the bathroom. When I got to the bathroom, my fears were validated, there was blood. I was having some mild crampy pain with it, and knew this couldn't be good. I hollered for the phone and called my Mom EST and woke her up, I was crying uncontrollably. She tried to calm me and told me to call the doctor. I called, and he told me he would see me first thing this morning, to try to stay calm, get my shot and if I was miscarrying there was nothing we could do about it, but if it made me feel any better 50% of his patients bleed and still deliver a baby. I decided to lay down in bed and rest for the rest of the evening. I was on the phone with my best friend and searching on the laptop for anything about bleeding, cramping, miscarriage etc. As I was doing this, Irene instant messaged me asking how I was feeling? I could not answer her because I couldn't reply good, because I was awful, devastated, scared, worried, and I didn't want her to worry all night just like I was going to by telling her how I was really feeling or what I was experiencing. So, a few minutes later, she said she was going to bed, she hoped we were all feeling better. I thought to myself if only she knew. I didn't get any sleep last night. I was tossing and turning all night, and any time I woke up to use the potty I would think a million thoughts trying to fall back asleep.

Well, this morning, I got up around 6ish, and showered and was out the door by 7. I arrived around 7:30, got into the office, and one of the girls said good morning or hello but she knew something was wrong, I was almost in tears again at this point. I told her I was there for an ultrasound and she said she would let them know I was there. They called me back and I told Alicia that I was bleeding and cramping and described to her what had happened. She told me they were going to do an ultrasound and bloodwork today. Dr. S came in and asked how I was holding up? And I told him the best I could. He told me it was really early and we might not be able to see anything yet. We ended up seeing one gestational sac, one yolk sac, and one fetal pole (no heartbeat as of yet)... where there once was another gestational sac, it was now filled with blood.

Here's our little fighter!! Hang in there lil one!

As we were finishing up in the exam room, he told the nurse to get Irene (insert last name) on the phone. I was thinking omgosh, she is going to be freaked out, she is really going to wonder why this doctor is calling her at 10 something in the morning (being only 7ish AM PST). He explained to her what had happened and I went off with Amy to get some blood drawn. My progesterone and estrogen levels look fine. I am to keep taking the baby aspirin, prometrium, prenatals, and my two injections -- delestrogen and progesterone.

I am so upset that I am miscarrying one of the babies. I wanted to give Irene and Mike twins so bad. They wanted two more than anything so they could grow up together.

Please be thinking of me today and send this baby hanging on vibes.

My next appointment for our next ultrasound will be Wednesday, March 28th.

Sympathy pains???

2007-03-18T19:42:00.000-04:00

I've heard of men having sympathy pains for their wives, who are pregnant, but what about intended moms, when their surrogate moms are in pain? Yesterday was just a miserable day -- my nose wouldn't stop running, and I took a decongestant, as well as a NyQuil the night before. I guess those two don't mix too well because all of yesterday I was nauseous, and could hardly get off the couch. If I didn't know any better, I'd think I was pregnant! Alicia, what else should I expect???

I spoke too soon...

2007-03-18T17:13:00.000-04:00

I guess the baby/ies decided to show me since I didn't "feel" pregnant. Yesterday was awful. I woke up and ate, and started marinating some chicken to grill out later on, and I couldn't even stand up halfway through. I started feeling nauseated and I had the pit feeling in my stomach. I was like oh no, this is not happening. I ended up laying on the couch for most of the morning with a bad headache that wasn't budging. I ate some soup, and sipped some juice hoping to feel better. I finally got up and showered trying to feel better, but it wasn't an instant cure. I had the pit feeling almost the entire day on top of this household cold we all have. Ugh! Babies, I take back what I said, I wasn't bragging I promise.

The final one...

2007-03-16T16:44:00.000-04:00

Well, here it is Friday, March 16th, 4 weeks and 6 days along and I just don't "feel" pregnant yet. Last week, I had some exhaustion around midday and in the evening, but it seems to have gotten a little better, or I am just pushing through and fighting against it. A time or two of heartburn after eating something spicy, and I been majorly moody but that's about it. I was starting to wonder if I was still pregnant, LOL. So, since I had one more test left, I thought what the heck let's take it... well, there was definitely a line, nice dark blue line before the color could even get to the control line area. It is definitely a BIG staring you in the face +, but what did I expect right? Hopefully I will stay pretty much trouble free for awhile, if not get to be one of the lucky few that don't experience morning sickness at all.

Here is the last one...

10 more days til the big ultrasound!!

We have the results...

2007-03-13T11:59:00.000-04:00

They called me and woke me up this morning, glad I didn't have to wake up and wait some more.

So, at 11dp5dt the number is...
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
900!!!
Remember, Dr. S was only looking for a number in the 500's. They said my levels look outstanding, and to continue to do everything the same.

No more betas since everything looks great. My next appointment will be on Monday, March 26th at 12:30 pm for our first ultrasound.

So, how many are you guessing are in there?

2nd beta - a little delayed...

2007-03-12T21:50:00.000-04:00

Today was the day for my second beta to see if all was progressing well. The doctor is looking for a number in the 500's. The bloodwork went well, Carrie did an awesome job. I let her know about Saturdays shot. It was the worst one to date. I don't think Felix went in right, and a big painful bubble formed on my side. Very painful, red and hot. She mentioned that if Dr. S finds a heartbeat maybe we can get me off of these awful shots. So, my fingers are crossed for that. With Kameron, we got a heartbeat at 6 weeks. Carrie took me into our "lucky" room and drew marks for tonights shots. Felix is running out of surface area to work with back there.

After the appointment, the boys and I went grocery shopping. We were trying to pass the time by. It worked. We got home, the boys went down for their naps, and I sat watching tv waiting on the call. It was a little after 2 PST, and the phone rang. I saw that it was their office, and got excited. I answered, and she tells me I don't have your results yet, but I wanted to let you know that we are being evacuated because of an electrical fire in the building. So, we will call you first thing in the morning with the results. So, I thanked her for taking the time to call me.

So, we will know the number in the morning!

We're expecting!!!

2007-03-11T11:53:00.000-04:00

And here is the other side of that story: On Wednesday, I finally decided to ask Alicia about the HPT. We previously discussed that she would do one, but we didn't decide on a time for the test. You don't want to do it too soon, but of course, I couldn't wait too long either. First thing, Wednesday morning, when I saw that Alicia was online, I asked her if she wanted to take the test today. She agreed, and we decided that she would take one in 3 hours, at about 10:30AM PST. This gave me enough time to attend to some work, go to a meeting and lunch, and then, sitting comfortably at my desk, get the news. And so, I'm at my desk. Sitting. Comfortably. But Alicia doesn't seem to be ready for the test. She keeps telling me that we should really wait a bit more, as otherwise the test may not give accurate results. As my patience is running thin (I simply can't wait anymore!), my phone rings! I'm thinking this is Alicia with the test results, but instead it's some guy from a florist, telling me that there are flowers for me downstairs. Now, I must tell you that there are 3 "Irene's" on my floor, and people constantly send emails and call the wrong Irene. My husband never sends me flowers to work, so I'm thinking that this must be for one of the other Irene's. As I'm walking to pick up the flowers, I'm thinking only of Alicia and the HPT, so I'm in a zone. I finally find the guy with a gorgeous bouquet of yellow flowers (yellow - should have tipped me off) in orange tissue paper, and surprisingly enough, the flowers have my last name on them!
This is a nice surprise, but I'm still thinking of Alicia and the test, so I don't even put two and two together. I get in the elevator, and a girl from my department happens to be in it. She looks at the flowers, and says "those are gorgeous, are they from your husband?". I'm thinking to myself: "I'm holding flowers, which are sent to me, and yet I have no clue who they're from -- I should really open the card!". As I open the card (still in the elevator), it all becomes clear: I rushed back to my desk, and called Alicia! I was also trying desperately to fight off my colleagues, who flocked to the gorgeous yellow bouquet, and all wanted to know what's the occasion and who the flowers are from. The next phone call after Alicia, I made to my husband -- he was simply ecstatic! What an amazing way to give me the good news!!!

Is that what I think it is?

2007-03-10T12:26:00.000-05:00

On Monday, March 5th, I decided to take a HPT just for the heck of it being that I was only 4dp5dt (4 days past a 5 day transfer). I didn't see anything so I threw it away. A few hours later, I was reading online on a surrogacy group, and decided to pull the test out of the trash and take another look. I popped the top off and stared at it, turning it and positioning it right with the light. I thought I saw a very very very faint line.

I took it to my Dad who also saw what seemed to be a line indicating a +. At this point, I wasn't too sure as it could be an evaporation line. So later that afternoon I tested again with the same brand of test, once again I saw a very very very faint line. The next morning I did the same thing, and once again another very faint line. So, I decided to have Kameron (my 5 year old son) pee in a cup and test him using the same brand. He laughed at me and I think he thought I was crazy. After waiting a bit like I had done with the other tests, we noticed there were NO faint lines on his test.

We realized Kameron wasn't pregnant but Mommy was! We went out and bought another box of 3 tests, a different brand this time, from CVS pharmacy. I came home and tested again, and almost immediately I saw a nice blue plus sign.

I was so excited!! BUT, I couldn't tell Irene. The doctors office had mentioned to me several times before that if I did a HPT not to tell the IP's until I had bloodwork confirmation.

I felt like I was keeping the biggest secret from my best friend. I wanted to tell her so bad. On Tuesday night, I started looking online for florists in New York near her job as I wanted to send her a bouquet of yellow flowers to announce the big news. As the night went on, I changed my mind and said I would try to wait until Thursday after the bloodwork.

On Wednesday morning, Irene IMed me and she eventually mentioned something about me doing a HPT, and did I think one would work right now? I told her you know it is different for every woman when a HPT would pick it up according to how much HCG the body was producing. We agreed that I would test three hours from then since I lied and told her I had just used the potty. I knew then I had three hours to get the flowers ordered, delivered, and to her. I didn't need to take another test, I had taken plenty of them by this point with all ++++.

So, I did a search and found a flower shop in the NYC area, and called. They told me they could get me the flowers to her within the hour, I was like wonderful!! Irene had gone to a meeting, she came back, and she said nothing about flowers. We chatted, I asked questions, trying to keep her mind off the test. She decided to go do lunch, and she would be back in time for my scheduled "test". Time went by, I was hoping the flowers didn't come while she was out, but would come as soon as she got back. She came back, still nothing. I called the florist who said "they were running behind, but as soon as the delivery person came back, Irene's bouquet would be the next out." I stalled, I talked about anything I could think of. I almost told her I had used the potty and had forgotten to test, but I didn't know if she would buy it. Another hour had past, so I called the florist once again (I hope they didn't think I was too much of a pain, they had said within one hour), they said "the flowers had left about 20 minutes ago, and should be there any minute", I thanked him and told him I was stalling her as much as I could. I typed to Irene, I needed to go downstairs, and I fixed the boys lunch. When I got back upstairs, she was away from the computer, next thing I know my phone was ringing with Irene telling me "I was amazing." I told her the story of all the tests, and having Kameron test too. She was soooo excited! I reminded her I wasn't supposed to tell you, so don't tell the doctors you know.

The next day Thursday was the big day for the first blood test. I woke up and took another test, and a nice big + appeared much darker in color.

I emailed it to her before jumping in the shower, and let her know I would let her know the beta number as soon as possible.

I went to the doctors (7dp5dt), the doctor popped his head in and asked me how I was. I replied Great! 7 positives! He asked if they had popped up right away, and I let him know yes they did. He mentioned the embryologist was so excited with the two embryos because they looked so amazing, and that they had put the best two in me.

I went home, and around 1:30 PST I got the phone call. Do you have a minute to talk to Dr. S? Yes! (Of course I did :), had been waiting on the news he was about to give me all day). He got on the phone and said "Congratulations! You are definitely pregnant." He told me our beta number was 132. And he went on to say "It is a good thing we only put in two." I think he was indicating he thinks there's twins in there! I go back on Monday for a repeat beta! The number should be around 528, it should have doubled twice.

That evening I had my monthly group meeting, as I was leaving the house the very first car I saw had a "Twins on Board" sticker in the back window. I thought to myself this has to be a sign.

A wonderful experience...

2007-03-05T16:32:00.000-05:00

I still can’t get over what a fantastic time we had in San Diego! Mike & I were made to feel like a part of the family from the very start, and by the time I had to leave for the airport on Sunday, I felt as if I was leaving a sister. Alicia and I spent many hours talking about absolutely everything from our childhoods & families, to parenting techniques. The fact that she had to spend 3 days in bed really allowed us time to talk. I am so glad we had the time to really get to know each other well.

The three days also gave me some amazing parenting experience! For the first time ever, I was responsible for taking care of two children. Of course I was not taking care of the kids alone, Felix and Alicia’s dad were doing this as well, but I tried to do as much as possible. Given the fact that the boys are 3 and 5, I was given a run for my money! I think the two of them together have enough energy to power a rocket, and taking care of them requires patience, love, attention and foresight. They are, I must admit, two phenomenal kids, and if my child(ren) turn out to be just like Alicia’s boys, I will be eternally grateful. The boys are intelligent, kind, social and full of life.

While Alicia was on bed rest, my mom kept calling my cell phone every hour, on the hour, to see how I was managing. She simply could not believe that I was able to take care of the kids! I think that by Sunday she finally realized that I am fit to be a mom, and can be trusted to raise her grandkids. Whew….

And now, we’re back to waiting… Will the little embryos both implant? Will just one of them decide to implant? I guess time will tell, but as for me, I’m sending both embryos positive vibes, and a promise to be a good mom to however many decide to be born. After all, I now have 3 solid days of parenting experience!

Bittersweet!

2007-03-04T20:20:00.000-05:00

Wow, where do I begin? So much has happened since my last entry.

On Saturday Feb 24th in the morning, I finally got to meet two of the most amazing people I have ever met. They are so caring, and such loving individuals. We all immediately hugged and the first thing out of their mouths were them thanking me for doing this. It took all I had to resist from crying, I felt my eyes getting ready ;)

Irene & Mike had brought each of us a gift which was very nice of them. They brought me an electronic Sudoku, Felix cologne, and the boys a remote controlled boat. The boys immediately wanted it opened and the batteries put in it. After trying to get the boat figured out, Irene, Mike, and I left to go to the doctors office to have Amy teach Irene how to do my daily shots. We talked all the way like old friends. Conversation just flowed, I felt so comfortable! After that was over, we met the guys back at the house to go out sightseeing and have lunch together. We ended up in Old Town at Fred's for lunch, and we all enjoyed our lunch.

We walked around talking, them enjoying getting to know the boys and watching them run all over full of energy, and Felix and Mike took to each other very fast. They wandered off and would lose sight of us as they talked.

After seeing Old Town, we went over to the beach, and we touched our feet in it. Brrr! Kameron enjoyed running from the waves. After leaving there, we found this pond to let the boys try out their boat. Kameron enjoyed driving it. When we were walking to the car, Irene and I saw a sign posted at the pond that said this pond was just for toy model boats. We thought that was really cool.

We came back to the house and talked some more, and hung out until late in the night. Over the next few days, we spent almost every minute together, talking, playing cards, having dinner together, enjoying each others company. Mike grilled some yummy chicken for us, and steak on another night. Irene made great salads over her visit as well as her yummy lasagne.

Mike and Irene took us out for lunch on Tuesday to a Brazilian restaurant. Mike was definitely into his "meat" and wanted to show me to it since I had never been. I really enjoyed it. After lunch, we went out and shopped for yellow shirts for good luck! (Yellow is the color of fertility)

After four days of excitement, the day we had waited for had arrived. The transfer was at 9:30 on Thursday March 1st. We arrived a few minutes later than they wanted us there around 8:45 am. We took a couple pictures as we waited for the boys to arrive in the office, they had dropped us off to find a parking spot. Shortly after they arrived, Carrie called me back to have blood drawn.

I asked Dr. S when he popped his head in to say hello to Irene and I, were all 16 still thriving? And he responded that only 9 were left, and he had two great looking ones waiting. Irene and I then went back to the waiting room. Carrie came and got Felix and I and took us back to the room - she called it their lucky room. I recalled it being the room where I received my first BIG needle shot. ;) She had me change into a gown, and into special socks with their offices name on them. I then got on the table and covered up. I had to sign a paper or two, and have a name band put on my wrist to verify who I was. Soon the OB nurse came in with the ultrasound machine to check my bladder (since I felt like I was going to pee any minute, she had me drink no more).

It happened so quickly. Next, they gave me the valium, then brought Irene and Mike in, the doctor came in, showed the picture of the beautiful embryos to them. I was laid down, and into position. I asked Dr. S "what is the probability of twins?" He replied "We had a 70% chance for a pregnancy, and a 20% chance for twins." (I thought to myself he was full of it) Dr. S did a test run, and the embryologist left the room and returned with the embryos in the catheter. In a matter of seconds, he was releasing them into my uterus through a painless process. I got overwhelmed with emotion looked over at Irene and we grabbed hands. I was just so amazed, that it was over that fast. Embryologist went and confirmed both embryos were not in the catheter. After the all clear, they reclined the table so I was "standing on my head" as Dr. S put it. He said bedrest for three days, no Bloomingdale sales. After the procedure was over and I was lying there, I started feeling the valium starting to work. I was so loopy. The guys ran downstairs to pick up something from the pharmacy and brought me back a yummy apple danish. Once my time lying still on my head was over, they let me go potty which I thought I was going to fall flat on my face, Irene was very good in helping me, and they put me in the wheelchair, and took me out. The ride home is hazy, I was dozing in and out, and don't remember much of that. When we got home, I hit the bed and was out, I slept about 3 hours. Over the course of the next three days, Irene took such good care of me. I was only allowed to get up to potty. I need to add Irene has been giving me the shots all week and she has done such an awesome job. She turned over her job to Felix starting Thursday night to watch him and make sure he knew what he was doing. He definitely still makes me more nervous than she did.

It was sad when it was time for Mike to fly home. The time seemed so short. He again thanked me, and told me to keep Irene busy taking care of me. He flew home the afternoon after the transfer.

Irene flew home bright and early this morning. This is a picture of Irene's plane flying home :(

My first day off of bedrest, first day out of the house, and the first thing I had to do was drive her to the airport and say Good Bye til next time. It was heartbreaking, and so hard for me to let her go. I wish she could had stayed with me longer!! She is such a sweet, amazing, and loving person!!

Irene - I so enjoyed our hours and hours of talks. I really enjoyed having someone to listen to me, give me advice and not pass judgment. Thank you for everything while you were here!!! I so hope to give you the news of a BigFatPositive in just a matter of days! If anyone in this world deserve to be parents - it's definitely you and Mike!! :)

The BIG day is here!

2007-02-25T10:42:00.000-05:00

Yesterday was the BIG day, for many reasons! First, we had the egg retrieval. Mike & I had to be at Dr. S's office by 7AM, and after waiting a few minutes, we got taken to different rooms. The procedure took just a bit over an hour, start to finish. The doctor administered some local anesthesia, to ensure no discomfort, and then, using the ultrasound as a guide, reached into the first ovary through the vaginal wall, and with a thin needle, extracted the eggs. The same was done on the other side. The result: 18 eggs in total, 15 of which looked good! While all of this was happening, Mike produced us with the sufficient sperm, and the mixing of the two began, in a different room, so we didn't see this process. Now comes the tough part -- we wait for the embryos to grow.

After the egg retrieval, it was time for us to meet Alicia, Felix and the boys! Mike and I drove to their house, and finally were able to hug! It was such a special moment for us, to see them all in person, smile, and talk about everything face to face. The boys instantly took to us, and I was very happy with that, as you never know how children react to someone new. We chatted, for a bit, and then had to go to Dr. S's office, so that Amy can teach me how to give Alicia the shots. I watched Amy do it, and tried to soak in as much knowledge as I could. I will give Alicia her shot today. I hope I can do it as well as Amy, and not hurt Alicia.

After the visit to the doctor's office, we just hung out, like old friends. We went out to a great lunch (fantastic Mexican food!), and walked around Old Town. We then drove around, saw the military base; went to the beach, and wet our feet in the cold ocean water; went to a little pond made especially for model boats, where the boys played a bit with the remote controlled boat we got them. We ended the day by having some pizza and chatting some more with Felix, Alicia & Alicia's dad, who is visiting them now. Mike and I finally left at around 11PM, when everyone was completely exhausted! The day was such a success!!! I can't wait to see what today has to offer us :)

Almost time for PIO...

2007-02-23T00:09:00.000-05:00

Today's appointment went well. Kameron went with me today and we had no problems finding parking. He enjoyed getting to ride in the elevators. We waited for about 10 minutes and then we were taken back. I was given an ultrasound where Dr. S said (of course mumbling under his breath, really not talking to me) that my lining was a triple layer and at a thickness of 14. Kameron got to see my uterus on the screen, and Dr. S told him how he once was in there. I explained to him that is where Irene and Mike's baby/ies would grow.

Dr. S told me the retrieval would be on Saturday, and the transfer would be next Thursday. He gave me my weeks protocol. I will start three new meds on Saturday, one being the nasty ol' progesterone in oil shots that are also given in the backside. I imagine it is going to get really sore back there, but I am a trooper right? I actually had no bloodwork done today! Amy gave me my estrogen shot. My next appointment will be the big day!

We are trying to figure out who is going to give me these daily shots. I believe Amy is going to "teach" Irene how to do them while she is here, and hopefully I can be comfortable enough around her to allow her to do them. :) Hopefully by the time she leaves, I will have become more comfortable where Felix will be able to give them to me without me getting all worked up before each one.

I still can't believe Irene will be here in less than 24 hours. It is going to make this whole thing so much more real by seeing her and getting to give this special woman a big hug!! Stay tuned for pics! :)

48 hours, and counting!

2007-02-22T16:15:00.000-05:00

I know, I've been really quiet lately, but that is only because the past 2 weeks or so have been rather nerve-racking. The success of our operation depends greatly on how well the follicles are responding to all the meds they've been fed over the past 2 weeks. No pressure, right? Until the eggs are retrieved and fertilized, no one can really say for sure if the resulting embryos will be of a good quality, and thus, will have a good chance of implanting in Alicia's lovely uterine lining! Dr. S. and his assistants have been "cautiously optimistic", but honestly, I don't know what that means. So for now, we're going to send positive vibes to the follicles, and pray that they are behaving themselves. Could this be my first parental experience -- encouraging my children to do their best? :)

Ok, anxiety aside for a minute, Mike is now at the airport, and is checked in for his flight. Tomorrow morning he will meet with Dr. S. and then will undergo an FDA-mandated physical with another doctor (since I've been examined by about 4 separate doctors in the past 6 months, I've met my FDA requirements). Then, at about this time tomorrow, I will be getting ready for my flight. I can't wait to get on the plane and just breathe. In less than 2 days the eggs will be retrieved! So, the latest schedule is as follows: 2/24 - egg retrieval and fertilization; 3/1 - embryo transfer. This means that if all goes well, we'll have a mid-November baby! I still can't believe all of this is actually happening.

Keeping my fingers crossed! :)

It's time!

2007-02-22T13:13:00.000-05:00

I sit here and think about the start of this journey, how long ago it seems, and how long I thought it would take to get to the good part :) But now, less than 48 hours Mike and Irene will both be right here in San Diego. I can't believe we are to this point already. I am glad the time hasn't really dragged on. Up to this point, it has been such a smooth and problem free process, I just pray (and would appreciate anyone else reading this) that the retrieval and our transfer is a successful and happy one!! I want this so bad for Mike and Irene. I don't want them to have to endure anymore setbacks or pain.

I have my appt for another ultrasound, more blood work, and another shot in my backside later on today. I will find out the dates for the retrieval and transfer. Mike and Irene have already been told the dates will probably change by a day, so I am expecting a change, but hopefully we will all find out for sure and definite today.

So much anxiety...

2007-02-15T22:18:00.000-05:00

Today I had no problem finding parking, I think I got lucky. I arrived about 10 minutes early to my appointment. This was my first time going by myself, Felix stayed at work. I didn't have to wait too long before someone was taking me back for my ultrasound. I sat and waited for Dr. S thinking how I would address my anxiety over the shots. I have been having a hard time with them this past week. The baby Lupron shots have caused bruising and soreness. The estrogen cause me so much anxiety, and I get so worked up over them. They make my backside very sore, my nipples extremely sensitive, and awful headaches. I never thought I would be this bad over the shots, I thought I would get over it and be okay. I have three more months of this to go, I need a valium or something before each shot LOL

Dr. S came in and asked how I was, and I replied umm, as good as I came be or something to that extent. He mentioned I didn't sound very enthuased today. So, I told him briefly about the situation. He then proceeded to do the ultrasound. He said my lining looked awesome, a 13. He also mentioned that I may not like the shots, but my body does, as it is doing exactly what it is supposed to. I met him in his office to go over the weeks timeline. He told me next Thursday he should be able to tell me exactly when the transfer will be, etc. He stopped my Lupron shots (the ones in the belly) which will end up being the easiest shot of them all :) But I guess one less is a good thing. I asked him while in his office the ideal lining for a transfer, and he replied anything above 10. I was very pleased to hear that after knowing mine is already at a 13 after only two estrogen shots. I am so happy my body is cooperating and doing as it is told. :)

He then took me to Amy (whom I requested in the examining room), and told her I needed blood work to check my estrogen levels and my estrogen shot. I had taken my meds with me so Amy could do it, because I knew how freaked out I get at home with Felix doing them. I mean I don't stay perfectly calm and anxiety free with Amy doing them, but I can calm down a tiny bit knowing it is someone with experience doing the shots. He then told us to set up an appointment time on Monday for Amy to do my next shot since I am having so much anxiety with them. Amy and I talked while she drew blood, and then took me to the recovery room to give me my shot. This time she had me lie down instead of standing up. I figured it would be harder for me to tense up in that position. She once again did it so fast, the initial prick wasn't very painful, but the medicine afterwards sure makes it sore. She told me that if my body keeps responding so well that maybe Dr. S would give me another form of the medication instead of shots (but she said she wasn't making any promises), I sure can hope though. I thanked her for a "shot" LOL and set up my appt time for Monday. I came home and put the heating pad on to help move the medicine around and help the pain a bit.

I go back on Monday for my next shot and Thursday the 22nd for another ultrasound and more than likely bloodwork.

The start of a new one!

2007-02-08T17:03:00.000-05:00

Today was the big day for my new shots! The appointment started off with Felix and I not being able to find a parking spot in the parking garage. After 25 minutes of searching, we finally found one. We got into the office, and within minutes they called us back. I was put into a room and told to get ready for an ultrasound, so Felix and I sat and talked while waiting for Dr. S.

Dr. S came in and did an ultrasound, said everything looked great once again :) He said they would do blood work today and also start my new medicine - estrogen. After finishing with the ultrasound, we met him in his office and he showed us a timeline of the next week. The dosage of my Lupron was lowered. He then took us to Amy who then drew blood to check my estrogen levels prior to starting the estrogen injections and also to make sure I wasn't pregnant and for the record that the pregnancy was not created by me, but by the embryos that would be placed later in the month.
Amy was very sweet and I really liked her! She then took us back into a room, and talked with Felix and I for quite a few minutes about the injections. How to give them, where to give them, etc. She drew X's in permanent marker on my backside for Felix for future reference. These shots are given twice a week. She had me stand facing the counter while she demonstrated to Felix what to do. She went ahead and did the first shot to show him how. She was very quick going in which was much nicer than if she hadn't. ;) She said if Felix and I had any trouble that we could give them a call and they would be more than happy to help us come up with an alternative. She mentioned I was doing a very nice thing for someone, and they don't want me to suffer.
Here is a picture of Amy and I after my first "big" needle shot! She said "I did it".

I go back in a week for... can you guess?, another ultrasound :)

Tonight I have my first group meeting with the other women from the agency who are also surrogates. I am looking forward to talking with others who have done this, or are in the middle of doing this. I was told there will be a couple who are actually cycling the same time as I am with the same Doctor which I think will be neat!

My bags are packed, I'm ready to go..... Almost!

2007-02-06T21:17:00.000-05:00

Well, it's official -- Mike & I have our airline tickets, and we're all set for our cross country flight, or, flightS, I should say, as we're not flying together at all. It appears that Mike has to go for an FDA physical one day ahead of the egg retrieval, and I'm definitely not needed for that procedure. So, the way it's looking now (of course, this is subject to change, as when it comes to affairs of the heart and the human reproductive system, nothing is set in stone), Mike is flying on Thursday, February 22nd, and I will follow on Friday, the 23rd. So, if Alicia and Felix are not too tired on Friday night, we can meet as soon as I get off the plane! I'm so excited about finally meeting these amazing people! My only problem is that I just don't know how to say "thank you" to someone for agreeing to carry a baby for you?

I mean, think about it: we say "thank you" thousands of times per day. Someone holds the door open for us, we thank them; the cashier hands us our change and receipt for the groceries, we say "thank you"; a friend gets us a cup of coffee, we most definitely thank that friend; but when you compare those actions to someone carrying a baby for you, for 9 months, and going through all this preparation ahead of time, in order to make it all happen, a "thank you" seems rather insignificant. The only solution I can come up with, is that gratitude of this magnitude is felt, and not necessarily adequately expressed.

After looking at the photos of all the medication Alicia has to take, both Mike and I are very sympathetic. We both hate taking medication, and having to take quite so much stuff is simply overwhelming. Hang in there Alicia, you're a trooper! Seriously, the needles themselves are unpleasant, I know from multiple personal experiences, but the additional medication just makes everything so much worse. The only pleasant thing I can think of is that the mass medication will soon stop, hopefully!

Speaking of medical procedures, when Mike and I went for our main installment of blood tests, the receptionist at LabCorp started up a friendly conversation with us, as she was entering our information into the computer database. She seemed very friendly right up to the moment that she looked at our forms, and saw what we were being tested for! It appears that whenever you enter a surrogacy agreement, the FDA insists that you are tested for every disease (especially sexually transmitted disease) known to man. When this receptionist realized the two of us being tested for all of these diseases, she stopped the friendly chit-chat, and gave us an interesting look. From that point on, she was afraid to touch us, and I don't even think that she saw that our bloodwork requested something known as "Donor panel 1 and Donor panel 2". :)

Well, tomorrow is another day, but what it really means is that we're one day closer to meeting Alicia and her wonderful family! I feel like a little kid, waiting for my birthday, which is just taking it's sweet time getting here. But that's OK -- less than 3 weeks to go now!!!

Tougher than I thought...

2007-02-01T21:11:00.000-05:00

Ok, I admit I have a huggggge fear of needles, but I thought I could handle the baby insulin needles. I'm up to my third day of shots now and I just can't bring myself to do it myself. The last two days I have gone in the kitchen, got the shot all ready, cleaned my tummy, held on to some tummy and stood there with the shot in my hand. I stand there doing the dart like motions but just can't bring myself to do it. I have resorted to Felix to be the one that has to do it. The last two times, he has ended up pricking me twice. Yesterday 1/31, I looked away, I felt the prick and looked down thinking the worst was over, and Felix was pulling the needle out because he hadn't gone in all the way. So I stood there stressing for about 10 minutes before I allowed him to try again. Today I looked away again (who can stand to watch themselves receive shots anyway?), I felt the prick, and then a prick again, he had bounced off my tummy the first time, so I guess he said the heck with letting me get worked up again like yesterday, he immediately did it again.

I have read other Surrogates saying how easy shots are, and they give them to themselves. They say just do it. I just don't see how they do it, especially the big needles! If I can't handle the insulin needles, I am in for it when it comes time for the huge ones!

I will try again tomorrow to do it myself, we'll see how it goes. I keep telling myself I can do it, but as I said I don't get very far.

1/30/2007

2007-01-30T17:17:00.000-05:00

Today I had another ultrasound, and my first appointment that involved injections. I realized the camera didn't make it into the car half way to the appt, I was a bit upset about that. I just wanted to take a few pics to document the journey. I will make sure it is with me next visit and as well as the rest of my visits.

I was called back after waiting for a bit, C took my blood pressure and talked to me about the schedule for the month. I asked a few questions, then I had to wait in the waiting area again until a room became available. Felix and I ended up waiting in the room for awhile for Dr. S. When he came in, he wasn't but about 2 whole minutes in the room if that, he does things very fast. And with today being transfer day, I expect that he was busy. He did the ultrasound, said my lining of my uterus looked very thick and great for a baby :) He said I should expect a heavy period, which is strange because I would have been due for my period tomorrow 1/31, if I wasn't on the birth control. He said the birth control would make the lining thinner not thicker, but nothing else is different to make the lining be more thick, so I would assume that is how my uterus is every month. So maybe that is AWESOME news!!! He checked both ovaries, everything was fine there, and he was done. I got dressed and met him in his office to go over the time schedule, the same one C had already gone over with me :) Then he went and got C and she took us in a room to show Felix and I how to do the shots. I was very nervous when it came time for Felix to do it. Being he had never given a shot and he was scared he was going to hurt me, I was scared he was going to try to go in too easy and I feel it the whole time. But he did well, and the shot was fine. It has seemed to itch more than anything, and it was a little red around the area for a hour or so. Now I just have a little red dot on my belly.

As things seem to be progressing closer and closer, I am becoming even more excited. It feels like the "real" things are finally underway, and I am so happy to get moving for Irene and Mike!

I found a website that helped determine due dates the other day, and with our retrieval date, it is putting the due date right on my birthday! How sweet is that! How neat it will be to share the same birthday with the child/ren that I carried for two very special people! Even if I don't deliver on the exact day of my birthday, it will still be neat to let him/her/them know in the future they were due on their SurroMom's birthday!! :)

I am to stop the birth control on Friday 2/02, wait for the dreaded Aunt Flo (last one for a good while :), can you tell I am excited about that?) I go for my next ultrasound on 2/08, and that day I will begin another type of medicine injection, and it is the deadly HUGE needle that I am pretty scared of - eek! and with Felix behind the needle, oh my am I nervous?

Things are moving right along :)

2007-01-25T13:43:00.000-05:00

Wow, time is flying! Contracts are finalized and signed now!

Last week I received my shipment of medications. Opening the box was like I was in some kind of lab or doctors office, there were tons of 18g 1 1/2 inch needles, looking at those sent chills up my spine (eek), there were alcohol wipes, all kinds of medications (liquids and tablets), there was a red Waste container for the used needles like you see in doctors offices, more needles but these were small insulin needles. I will learn about the contents of this box soon.

Tuesday the 23rd, I started my first meds, which are making me feel so nauseated. I feel like I am experiencing morning sickness already. I am to pick up a medicine today from the pharmacy that is to help with that (hopefully). Tuesday, Jan 30th, I have my next appt at the doctors office, where they will do an ultrasound to make sure everything looks okay, and then I will start my first injections. I "think" these shots will be a piece of cake, they are the little insulin needles. I think I should be able to handle them. They will show Felix and I how to adminster them on that day, and make sure at least one of us are comfortable with giving them to me.

We have been given dates now. We are looking at a Feb 28th or March 1st transfer! The dates are right around the corner, but what comes with those dates is finally getting to meet the two wonderful people I am helping in the journey of becoming parents, Mike and Irene! I think that will be a very special day in itself!

Well, that is my update for now! :)

You just know when it's right...

2007-01-05T22:23:00.000-05:00

When my husband and I finally decided that we were ready to start a family, we hit a few roadblocks, to say the least. Within a few months, it became clear that I would not be able to carry out a pregnancy, and we needed to explore our options. Surrogacy proved to be the best option for us, as we truly desired to have a biological link to our child(ren?).

But how do you find the right person to be a surrogate mom for you? After all, this is one of the most important steps you will ever take in your life, so you better make sure that you get it right -- no pressure! :) We took a modern approach: we Googled any and all agencies offering surrogate mom services, called them, and asked a million questions. Unfortunately, we were unable to find that one special person. Don't get me wrong, I honestly feel that any woman who is willing to be a surrogate for someone else is an absolutely divine creature, but I simply didn't feel a connection with any of the women whose profiles I read. That was until I read Alicia's profile. Her profile spoke to me - besides having a lot in common with Alicia, there was something very genuine and warm about her. When I saw a picture of Alicia and her family, I realized that this is it, she was the one! However, there was one problem: it seems that Mike & I were not the only ones that felt that Alicia was the one for us. Her profile came with a flag, indicating that she was already evaluating potential couples, and may have already picked someone. We instantly emailed the agency (within minutes!!!), and said that we want to submit our profile to Alicia, in hopes that she had not yet signed on the dotted line for someone else. Thank God for modern technology! By the following morning the agency forwarded us Alicia's very excited acceptance!

By the time we had our conference call with Alicia, my nerves were calm (for the first time in about 6 months, I think). Hearing her caring voice was the final piece of the puzzle. Everything seemed to fall into place: we had found the right person and the right family to be a surrogate to us. Even though we haven't yet met face to face, I know that Alicia & Felix will be our very dear friends forever, and Mike & I will get a lot of pleasure out of watching their two boys grow up. We didn't just find someone to have a baby for us, we found very special friends, and people like that are so hard to come by.

Enjoyment!

2007-01-05T17:21:00.000-05:00

Irene and I have been emailing each other pretty much daily since matching! I am enjoying getting to know her and her family. She is a wonderful person, and I am so happy to be able to do this for her. She definitely deserves it as well as Mike! I think they will make awesome parents!

It just makes it so much more meaningful to be doing this for someone so deserving! They really appreciate me and I can tell that! I look forward to our lifelong friendship!

Appts - Jan 2 2007

2007-01-05T15:35:00.000-05:00

On Tuesday January 2nd, I had my psychologist appt in the morning and then later in the day I had my first appt at the IVF doctors office.

Going to the psychologist appt I was pretty nervous. Days before I had received an email from the Psychologist with a 7 page questionnaire, that I had to fill out before arriving. After arriving, she gave me another 5 page questionnaire where I had to finish sentences with my first thought after reading it, and a one page sheet where I had to circle things that had happened to me in the past year. I also had a 565 question personality test on the computer. While I was doing the paperwork, she was speaking to Felix.

After I was done with all the paperwork, and the computer part, we sat down and talked about a lot of things pertaining to me and my life, and why I was doing this, etc. I became very comfortable with her, and felt I could relax. Leaving her office, I had a very good feeling about everything.

Felix and I left and had lunch, then proceeded to my next appt. We arrived a little early so we stayed in the car, I was doing Sudoku, and he was playing PSP.

Upon arriving in the office, I had a couple sheets of paperwork to fill out. Then we were called back by the doctor into his office, he explained everything to us, what would happen, questioned me about my medical history. Then we were brought into a room, I had to give a urine sample, undress from the bottom down, and then I waited. They did cultures, and used this tiny thing with a camera on the end to go into my cervix and uterus. I got to see it all on a color monitor, my insides looked really neat, everything checked out perfect and healthy. He also put some kind of catheter thing inside and filled in with a liquid to expand my uterus. (It caused cramping, and I was in pain for a few hours after.) He then did a vaginal ultrasound to look at my ovaries, nothing wrong there. I then got back dressed and went to his office. He talked to us about the time line. We then had blood drawn, the lady that drew our blood wasn't so gentle. She stuck us both like she was throwing darts, and when she was done, she just yanked it out. Very painful. I plan to request someone else if and when I have to have more blood drawn.

We were given a packet of paper when we were ready to leave that I was to go over, and we are both to sign and have witnessed and bring back with us on our next appt. After leaving, I was in pain and ended up taking some pain meds. I felt like I was either in labor or my period was going to start early. I wanted to break something. :) He did tell me while in his office, that the real transfer would not be that painful, thank goodness.

I received an email from the agency on Wednesday, letting me know that the Psychologist had given a verbal OK, and they would receive the written report in about 10 days. So, that was very good news to hear! Everything was good for the IVF appt pending blood work!

The beginning...

2006-12-20T18:41:00.000-05:00

In July 2006, I had an interest in becoming a surrogate. So I requested information from two separate agencies. After thinking about it for a few days, we realized we may have oopsed and could be pregnant ourselves. After finding out we weren't, Felix and I decided to try to have another child of our own. After three months of no luck, I still felt a calling to be a surrogate and help out someone less fortunate. I didn't want to have another child of my own just yet. I wanted to bring the joy of being parents to someone else. I called one of the agencies (the one I was most interested in), and got in to meet with them on October 16th 2006 . I did all the paperwork, etc. I received an email a few days later saying I was accepted to be a surrogate at their agency.

Now the part of waiting came in. I was contacted with three separate couples looking for a surrogate over the next two months. Dec 12th 2006, the third email came in, after reading over their questionaire, I had a lot of questions about them. I felt they just wanted me to carry a child and give it to them at the end, and not really have any relationship or ties with me. I didn't have a feeling in my heart to work with them, so I sent a few emails to the agency asking questions, trying to get answers and a better understanding about them. About a hour after receiving the email about the third couple, I received another email with a fourth couple. I read over their questionaire, and looked at their pics. Immediately I knew these were the people I set out on this journey for. They sounded amazing. They were so heartfelt, and down to earth in their answers. Exactly what I was looking for! I instantly emailed my agency back saying I was interested!! I got on the phone with my Mom and another call to my husband telling them the news and how excited I was about this couple.

So the next few days went by, I looked at their pictures some more and read over the questionaire. I talked more and more about it with my Mom and Felix. Monday Dec 18th 2006, I received a phone call asking when was a good time for a conference call. I was so excited yet so nervous at the same time. I couldn't wait to talk to them, hear their voices, and begin getting to know these two wonderful people.

On Dec 20th 2006, the day had arrived. At 1pm PST, we spoke on the phone, and it went amazingly well. We talked about our families, and got to know each other a lil bit. We both knew we wanted to go into this together before the conversation was over, we didn't even need to think about it. The agency had emailed us both with each others contact information before the call was over. I received a wonderful email from them about 20 minutes after the call ended! It meant so much to receive an email thanking me for doing this for them!

I am so excited about this lifelong journey I am embarking on.